letmebreakthetiara

BRB.

2006-08-20T13:17:00.000+08:00

Okkkaaayyy. Long time no post.

Hmm..

I guess I'm going on a hiatus.

~~Be back soon.~~

Will be updating on my other blog.

Don't know the URL for my other blog?

Too bad for you.

Haha.

I would find a way without you.

2006-07-08T18:29:00.000+08:00

Nawawala na talaga ako ng ganang magupdate dito. Pwahaha. La lang. I might just continue posting on my other blog.

Anyway, I've been a busy bee for the past weeks. Daming homeworks & quizzes tapos sumabay pa ung mga dance practices for the Acquaintance Party. Yes, I was part of our batch dance. Eww haha. But it was sorta fun. Kaso di ko talaga trip ung sayaw. *shudders from the memory*

So yeah. Acquaintance Party was last night. It was ok. Nothing special whatsoever. Oh yeah.. Mokay's pants won as most creative attire.. err something like that. Some of the past Seniors were there. Even Carla was there! Teehee. It sorta sucked though. Talagang pinapalit nila ng shoes yung mga nakarubber shoes. Haha. Buti nalang sumunod ako sa patakaran. Wahaha. *sigh* The free dance was depressing.

I have tons of pics from yesterday so Ima post it as soon as I can. Deym it. Sayang wala kaming pikchur nung mga ibang past Seniors. Oh well.

That's it for now. So not in the mood to blog.

Oh yeah.. July 8 pala ngayon. Wala lang.

~~I wonder if you even remembered.~~

Now I only obsess over you.

2006-07-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know. I've been lacking updates. I've been quite... busy.

Belated happy birthday to Danielle. Uber fun party that she hosted in her garage. Heehee. Next year ulet! XD

Anyway, Acquaintance Party is on this coming Friday. & surprise surprise! I'm part of our batch dance. Erm. Modern ang theme for the Seniors so of course naging pang gangster yung sayaw. I am so not gangster. Hindi bagay. Pwahahaha. Oh well. I like the dance anyway. It's fun. Kahit nakakapagod.

Our retreat is so fucking early! It's like next week! Next Friday. Aaaaamf. Ang bilis. Kaasar. Dami daw kasing "activities" for us Seniors. Oh well.

Hmm. It's been sorta slow so far. Gets? No? Good. Basta. Ang bagal ng oras. Teka lang, bakit ka ba nagmamadali Kimi?

Ugh. Senseless update. I shall post a more detailed one next time when I am in my right state of mind.

Whenever that will be, I have no idea.

Rain rain, go away.

2006-06-26T19:48:00.000+08:00

I hate the weather. It's been so fucked up lately. My pants are still wet. Pfft.

Anyway, a few of us Seniors took advantage of our very early dismissal awhile ago & went to Rob after classes to watch "The Nun". Assuming that it was scary since the advertising of the movie was quite successful, I was disappointed after watching it. Even though I only got to watch the almost end part since we were all late due to many reasons. Yessss. "American Haunting" nalang sana. O kaya "The Lakehouse". Haha.

There's a lot of good movies to watch out for. Like "World Trade Center", "Miami Vice", "Fierce People", "Lovewrecked", "Ghost Rider", etc. Basta marami akong panonoorin haha. Movie marathon! Weeee!

I am soooooooo addicted to "Endless, A Silent Whisper" by Urbandub right now. Current LSS is that Close Up song by Rocksteddy. "You light my way, you always take my breath away. You set me free, when every time you smile at me." I ain't sure about the lyrics though. Haha. Oh well.

Aica's party last Saturday totally rocked. Maraming nagwala. Haha. I love it when Aica hosts parties. It's always fun. Teehee. I hope may Halloween party sa kanila this year. Hahaha.

Tanda mo na! XD

2006-06-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

I am totally in love with Calculus! Hahaha. Yes, totally unfathomable, but true.

I LOVE CALCULUS!

It's frikkin easy! Or maybe sa umpisa lang yun.. Halaaaaaaa.

*dundundun*

Anyway, it's someone's birthday today!

Yiheeeee! Hahahaha.

Tanda mo na! Pwahahahahahahahaha.

Right.

*ehem*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNE CARLA P. FOJAS!

Yesssss. 16 years old na sya! I think? Hahahah. Wait, I'm not sure. But I think she is. Is she?

Hahahahahaha.

Pardon for the insanity. I got hyper listening to Urbandub, Fall Out Boy, Sandwich & Rocksteddy. Uber soundtrip mode much. Heehee. & karaoke mode! Paos na ata ako. Pwahahahahaha. Ohwell.

First CAT meeting tomorrow! Wuhoo! I'm actually looking forward to it.. What the fuck Kimi? Eww. That's just the insanity talking.

Errkay? Too weird. Too hyper! Haha.

Anyway, party at Aica's on Saturday! Mwahahahahaha. Parrtay! *throws confetti & dances around the floor*

Riiiiight.

*stares at the monitor blankly*

Hold me tight & never let go.

2006-06-19T21:47:00.000+08:00

So it's Mr. Manalang, not ~~Manalangan.~~ Hahaha. *refers to my other post* *praises myself for getting his name right this time*

Ahem. Right.

I don't know with the other year levels & with the other section, but our class has been dumped with an enormous pile of homeworks. Yet I still have the time to blog. How fascinating.

Hmm. I haven't been eating much. What with all the frikkin homeworks & shit. Rar. Senior life seems hectic. I don't like it. I just wish the teachers would realize how much stress they're putting us on.

School's hard. Not because of the lessons, rules & regulations, nor the teachers.

It's hard being away from him. It leaves me.. empty. It's just really hard. It hurts. I rarely see him nowadays. I'm not complaining or anything. I understand anyway. My studies are my number one priority right now. But of course, I have to have an inspiration. I'm not doing this only for myself, but also for him. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if he was still in OB. I guess it wouldn't be that hard. Ok, it won't be hard at all. Ayun.

I'm just really missing him.

Damn stupid Japanese senti/love song playing in the background. Haha.

I miss you.

First school week blues.

2006-06-17T21:24:00.000+08:00

School sucks. Figuratively, of course. I hate the subjects, the classroom, the changing of classmates though I have nothing against the people who got transferred to us. I just hate the fact that they shuffled the students. & lastly, I hate the new teachers. Yes, harsh I know but whatever. All the good teachers got chucked out & they replaced average ones. Though our adviser is uber good at Calculus. Still, I want Sir Garcia back.

Hmm. What else do I hate? Oh yes. The fact that they still don't have my uniform. Grr. Isa ako sa mga unang nagpa-sukat tapos wala parin? Puta. Ilang taon ba ang kailangan nila para lang makagawa ng mga 50-60+ na pants & blazer? Sheesh. Ang bobo talaga. Nagsasawa na ko sa kakasuot ng L.T. uniform.

Okk. So anyway, we have a new classmate in both sections. Some guy & girl from GH. Seryoso, di ko alam yung spelling ng mga pangalan nila so next time nalang yun. Masyado kasing complicated yung name ng guy tapos di ko pa sure yung name nung girl. Haha. Whateverrrrr. Why can't they have simple names like moi? Lol. XD

Our sched sucks. Erm so far we have 3 5:00pm dismissals. Monday, Tuesday & Thursday. We have a 2:00pm dismissal which is on Friday. & on that same day, we also have CAT after classes for 3 whole frikkin hours. I don't see why the officers are so joyful about it. Seriously, I'd rather have a Saturday training. But maybe not. Haha. Whatever. Bottomline is I hate CAT so I'm not going to enjoy this. I have lost interest in CAT again. ~~Maybe if I do some fancy drills again, it will refuel my interest in CAT.~~ XD

Hmm. So yeah. We have 3 new teachers. All from GH I think.
Mr. Manalangan - Or whatever his name is lol. He's our adviser, Calculus & Statistics teachers. I don't like him. HAHA. He's annoying. He's always noticing little stuff about me. Rar. I find Statistics boring but somehow I am enthralled with Calculus.
Mrs. Ornales - I think I messed up her name but whatever. She's our new Food Tech teacher. I still prefer Ms. Mangonon though. I only like her eyes though she's wearing eye contacts. Fake, pfft. HAHA. XD
Mrs. Manila - Damn it I am still fucking angry that they replaced Ms. Alvarez with this uber soft spoken & boring teacher! I still cannot accept that she is our Accounting teacher. I'm going to hate Accounting because of her. Pfft.

Yes. As you can see. I hate everything about school right now. It just sucks. I still can't accept summer is over haha. I'm so lame. XD

Oh yeah, I have a commuter's pass now. Oh joy. =D

I love that sound so give me one more line.

2006-06-12T18:22:00.000+08:00

"We came down to watch the world walk by.. And all she found was trouble in my eyes.. From the sky she pulled me down tonight.. Let her go.. Let her go.."

Ayun. Current LSS is Rough Landing, Holly by Yellowcard.

Hmm. Lately, I've been having the luxury of using a laptop & a WiFi connection. So yes, I've been on the Internet for endless hours already. I have been rarely OL in Y!M though. I'm just bored with chatting.

Ooh! Katext ko si Tuz! Haha. La lang. I think this is my first time na magkatxt kami. Big shocker there! *dundundun!*

Riiiiight.

Random much.

School starts tomorrow! & I am so NOT looking forward to it. Due to some private reasons. Mmhmm. Matatapos na nga lang ang summer, nagkaroon pa ng problema. Aaaaaaaaamf.

Ayun.

My back hurts. I need to lie down.

Goodbye for now, summer.

2006-06-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

Yes, I know I've been lacking updates but I'm seriously not interested in updating, or blogging for that matter. I might post another hiatus but I guess it won't make any difference.

I have three choices.
1. I go on a hiatus.
2. I move to another blog & hopefully reincarnate my interest in blogging.
3. Or I leave.

I wonder what I'll do.

Oh well.

Classes start on Tuesday. Wee. Fun. Not.

sings Happy Birthday song

2006-06-06T18:40:00.000+08:00

Ayun. May update narin sa wakas.

June 05, 2006.
I didn't do much. Twas my birthday for those people who forgot. *ehemkennethehem* Ayun. 12am, I received msgs from dear friends who remembered my birthday. Thank you lovelies. I actually woke up early that day. I woke up 15 minutes before 7am & couldn't get back to sleep. My earliest time of waking up ever since summer vaca started haha. Anyway, around some time in the afternoon, Zha, Kim, & Eric *some church friend* went here to hang out. When they got here, instant change of plans & boom! We went to the Mall Of Asia haha. Ermm we didn't do much. We just watched The Benchwarmers *my second time watching it*, & played some games at Power Station & Timezone. Funness. Hehe. Then we went home. Walang taxi sa MOA so naglakad kami haha. Naglakad kami hanggang PASAY! Hahahahahahaha. Nagabang ng taxi dun. Nagmamadali na kami since... Yun na yun! Hahaha.

I got home. Picked up my cousin. Went to our office to meet up with the elders lol. Then went out again to eat dinner at Don Henrico's. Then we went home. When I got home, my feet started to kill. Haha. Ayun. Tapos natulog agad ako. Haha. Napagod sobra. XD Oh yeah.. I gots myself a new digicam for my birthday. & a Sandwich album from my one & only labs. Hehe.

Ayunn. I just thought it'd be cool to update today. Since today is 6.6.06. Hahah. I'm so lame. I actually wanted to go out today & watch The Omen. But sadly, I got lazy. As in uber lazy. Heck Zha invited me to go to Rob today but I declined since I was too lazy. Kahit sa Baywalk nagalok sya pero di ko talaga tinanggap since I'm too lazy today. Taaw. Ayun. First day ng mga AC people today. Katxt ko si Marco during classes haha. Anyway yeaaah. I'm getting too lazy to update.

Labas tayo pipol. Let's go watch The Omen. >:)

Maybe baby.

2006-05-31T20:22:00.000+08:00

Update?

Maybe..

Pero tinatamad pa ko eh.

~~Next time nalang.~~

I'm so bored.

2006-05-17T16:41:00.000+08:00

HIATUS.

Why? Coz I feel like crap & I said so. So deal with it. >:P

Plugging:
Danielle's multiply. Nakakamiss yung mga tao sa school. *sniff* Hahaha.

Just in case you didn't see the huge bold words, I'm going to repeat it again..

I'm on hiatus.

Be back when I feel like it. Hahahaha.

Insecurities?

2006-05-15T16:48:00.000+08:00

Marami akong hinanakit at hinagpis na kailangang ilabas. Pero di ko sya ibubuhos dito.

*sigh* I feel so worthless.

I feel so broken up inside.

Oh well. Let's just see what happens..

Headaches all day long.

2006-05-13T18:36:00.000+08:00

New layout. I got bored so I decided to just change it. Somewhere over the rainbow; ain't it a lurvely song? Hehehe. Anyway I took out the music. Lalala. Iuno why I've been liking green so much. =P

I enrolled yesterday & got my school stuff already. Wamf I can't believe I'm going to be wearing that blue shirt, creamish blazer, & brown pants in just a few more weeks. Heck, I can't even believe that I'm a Senior already! Waaaa ayoko muna haha.

Mom's birthday was on May 10. We were supposed to go swimming today but due to the stupid storm, it got postponed. Tae wrong timing ung bagyo na un. Pfft.

Zha & Kim are inviting me to go out of town next week. Libre daw ng tatay ni Kim lahat. Wow haha. I'm definitely going lol. I hope payagan ako. *fingers crossed* Though I so doubt it.

Anyway, advanced Happy Mother's Day to everybody. Don't forget to tell your Mom how much you love her. Hihi.. =)

*sigh* I miss you na my love. =(

I wanna be with you now.

2006-05-08T20:02:00.000+08:00

I added a song. Wala lang. I just felt like it. Trip ko lang. Haha. Ang ganda kasi ng song eh. One of my favorites from Utada Hikaru. Dapat nga "First Love" ilalagay ko kaso parang ang common masyado nun kaya eto nalang. Hehe. Plus, it makes me go emo. I'm feeling emo. Wahaha. Iibahin ko yung song next time. Pag may mas emo na song haha. Weird. Ohwell.

There's not much to blog today. Since I ain't doing much. Kasi tapos na ang MSA. So wala na kong ginagawa. Sali dapat ako dun sa Colt thingy kaso nakakatamad eh. & besides, it's not really my thing. I've lost my interest in CAT again. Siguro kung magfafancy ulet, edi maiinteres uli ako haha. I luuuuurve fancy. =P

If you want the lyrics to the song -both Japanese & English-, then go here. Enjoy the song! Sorry for the poor quality of the song. Wala ng iba eh. Haha. Tinatamad pa ko maghanap lol. Ayos lang yan. Papalitan ko rin naman eh. For now, bear with it.

Fun-filled days.

2006-05-07T17:22:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to post Thursday night but there were some technical difficulties lol. Lagi kasing nakatapat sa pc yung cousin ko na wala namang ginawa kung di maglaro ng games sa pc. *rolls eyes* Anywaaaaayy..

The past 4 days have been extra fun! Thursday, I finally got to visit Nina's house. Ayun bonding thingy lalala. Basta yun na yun. Hinatid ako ni Luigi my labs pauwi. Haha. Labyu Luigi. =) Friday, last day ng MSA. Wuhoo hahaha. I remember after classes, lahat kami tumambay sa labas ng MSA. Halos lahat nakaupo sa steps, katabi ko si Carina nun & then she was like "Photoshoot ang dating ah.." & I was like "MSA Class of 2006 haha." & then we both burst into laughter haha. Mamimiss ko yung mga MSA people haha. They were all lovely people kahit na yung iba may pagka... Err.. Never mind haha. Last night, the familia went out for dinner since my step grandfather is here. Libre nya yung food. Hahaha. So we went to Caffe Milano & I ordered something new for a change.. Yung Risotto something.. Ang haba nung name eh haha. Pero ang sarap kaso mabigat sa tiyan. Haha. Kaya nabusog kaagad ako. No more room for dessert lol. & me & my Mom got into arguments about weird topics. Such as guitars, swimming, life vests, etc.. You know what she told me? "You think you know everything." Wamf. Harsh much. Oh well.

Today the familia went to Corregidor. Wamf. They woke me up at 6:30am-ish to get ready since the boat/cruise ship will be leaving at 8am. That pissed me off since I haven't had any decent sleep yet. Lol. Anyway, the boat ride was evil. I sorta got a little seasick pero nawala rin. We were in the top deck so wind effect yung hair ko hahaha. Pero naawa ako sa dagat. Ang daming plastic na lumulutang kahit na nasa gitna na kami ng dagat. Kawawa naman yung mga fishes pag nakain nila yun. Mamamatay sila. =( Erkaaay.. Hahaha. Then we got to Corregidor & got onto a tour bus thingy & we had a tour guide! Pablito was his name! Haha I laughed lol. Pero he was really good. He knew a lot about what he was talking about. & he was pretty funny for an old guy haha. XD Anyway the sights were lurvely. The food was yummy. The guys were hot hahaha. Pero sobrang init dun. I felt so sticky. Eww. Oh yeah.. There was this sun dome & Pablito told us that yesterday, sakto daw yung sun nakatapat dun sa may table thingy sa center nung sun dome. Parang spotlight daw. & it was mathematically & astrologically calculated daw. Wamf sayang namiss ko. Sakto May 6 kahapon na nangyari yun kasi nung May 6 waaaaay before nagsurrender ata yung Corregidor. Ewan nakalimutan ko na yung sinabi nya haha. Gets nyo ba? Hahahaha ang labo ko. =P Anyway, there was this guy there.. I think his name is Mike. How did I know? Basta hahaha. Everywhere I go nandun sya. He was even on the same tour bus as mine haha. & he was sitting behind me lol. Ewan parang sinusundan nga ako eh. Hahaha. Pero ayos lang, cute naman sya eh hahaha. XD The boat trip back to Manila was ok. I didn't get seasick coz I slept the whole trip lol. Hahaha.

Anyway that's what's been happening so far. I'll update more soon.. I think.. Oh yeah.. Sa December nalang daw kami pupunta ng Singapore. Lol.. Ohwell. =P

P.S. Sorry for the long post. & as you have noticed, I returned the old layout back. I just missed it lol.

Math = Insanity.

2006-05-02T20:43:00.000+08:00

Just 2 more days & goodbye MSA! Wahahaha. It really got tiring after a week..? Lol.. But it was still a fun experience. Total bonding sessions with Nina, Gallard, MJ, Allen, & his cousin Igi. Haaayy I'm gonna miss that lol. Kabaliw lang talaga yung mga uber long Math homeworks. Mga incomplete homeworks nalang problema ko then the stupid dry run exam lol.

Anyway, nakauwi na si Zha yesterday morning. Mga 10am ata.. Ewan I forgot haha. I'm just glad that she's back. I'm soooooo gonna visit her this week. Lagi nalang nauudlot yung pagpunta ko sa bahay ni Nina. Lol nauudlot. Ang lalim haha. Ah basta, I have to go to her house before Friday para matapos na namin yung homeworks namin. Stupid frikkin homeworks.. *continues mumbling incomprehensible words*

I can't wait 'til I go back to the hospital haha. It's just fun lol. Gusto ko na magpa-ECG & X-ray! Para malaman ko na kung anong problema sakin haha. That is, if there's anything wrong with me. Oh yeah there is.. I'm a little messed up in the head.. Lol whatever Kimeh. Haha.

I think tonight's the night I'm going to find out if I'm really going to Singapore. Grabe the suspense is killing meh! Ang tagal umuwi ng Mom ko! Haha. Erf.. Wish me luck nalang.. *fingers crossed*

Gots ta go. Stupid voices in my head telling me to finish the homeworks lol. As if I'm going to.. Pfft.. Haha. Oh well. Again, wish me luck.

Oopsie!

2006-05-02T13:54:00.000+08:00

New layout! Wahaha. I currently love GREEN! La lang haha. Ang cute nung layout nuh? Hahahaha. Natuwa lang ako sa layout lol. Temporary lang to I guess. Hehehe. God, I spent like an hour I think of editing this haha. Stupid connection ain't cooperating wiv me haha.

I think my YM's busted. Kaasar. Di tuloy ako makapagsign in. Haha. Sorry nga pala kay Pada kanina haha. Bigla nalang ako na-signout sa YM tas di na ko makapagsign in ulet haha. Sorreh Pada-ness! Heheheh.

Ohwell. I'ma update layturr. I gots to eat. Di pa ko kumakain dahil sa layout na to hahaha. =P

The Click Five is stuck in my head.. 0.o

2006-04-27T21:46:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I went to the doctor's for my check up. It has been years since I last had a check up. So I guess I was pretty excited haha. We went to Manila Medical Center.. I think. I don't really remember. Basta, it's near Emilio Aguinaldo College. Anyway, my Mom & I used the stairs to get to the 3rd floor & it was damn freakay! Scary amp! It was such an eerie feeling! & then I texted Sean & I was like "How would you know if who you're seeing is a ghost or a real human being?". Verbatim yan! Haha. I was totally freaked out lol. Plus, the hospital felt so unhygienic haha. I was squirming! Lol..

Anyway, it went ok. As for the whole leukemia thing which was started by ehem ehem.. Hahaha.. Err, asa pa ko! Hahaha. Normal lang naman daw blood pressure ko eh. Kaso I had a problem with the right side of my chest. When the female doctor pressed the upper part, I totally screamed out of pain. Haha. So I have to come back for my ECG & X-ray. Amf. Haha.

Ermygosh. Malapit na kong umalis for Singapore. Sabi ko kanina kay Luigi nung kumakain kami ng dinner, "Gusto ko bago ako pumunta ng Singapore.. Makasama ko kayong lahat.." Something along those lines lol.. Ang emo ng dating haha. But you know what I wanna try when I get to Singapore? The reverse bungee thingy! Haha.. Even though I'm frikkinly deathly scared of heights, I don't care! It looks fun! Haha. So I'ma try it! =P It's going to be included in my "50 Things I Have To Do Before I Die" list lol.. =))

It's 27 today! April 27, 2006! Haha. Happy 1st monthsary my love! Thank you sa teddy bear hehe. Ang cute! Pink! Haha. Aww miss na kita. Kahit na kasama lang kita kanina. Haha. I love you Luigi. =)

This one's for you..

2006-04-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

You know who I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally miss? Michelle Bernadette Diaz Carvajal!

After having a 20-30minute chat with her, I realized how much I miss her! That's why I'm dedicating this post to her. =)

Michelle & I have been friends since ever. But we only got to be really close during Sophomore year because we became seatmates. We hit it off instantly & she became one of my best friends. I told her everything that was happening in my life, & what happened in my life. She always listened to me & gave me wacko advices which really made me happy. I got to tell her everything so easily. Because I know that she wouldn't judge me because she knows who I truly am. That's why I love her so much. Wamf puro compliments haha.

I remember how we used to make each other laugh so much. We had so much fun during class hours & well, most of the time we'd just talk to each other & not listen to the lesson at all. Haha. Especially during Spanish time, we just talk & talk & talk. Mostly about her ex-crush, TJ. Hahaha. =)) Yes, how could I forget that guy? She was so obsessed with him & well.. Ok enough about that dork. Haha.

There was a time during our Sophie year that inspiration hit me & I just started writing this story. I got to like writing stories during that year. Anyway, it just hit me out of boredom. I think that was during Biology when I started writing the first chapter on a piece of paper. & then Mich wanted to see it. At first I was skeptical & ashamed of it. I didn't let her read it at first but then I gave in. So I let her read it & she was just blown away by it. She totally loved it! So I kept on writing more & more chapters. Mostly during boring lessons haha. Especially during Spanish time. Haha. =P

& then the horrible news came.. She said she was going to be transferring to another school. I was devastated. I was shocked. I was speechless..! Ok I wasn't exactly speechless since I started ranting on how unfair it was & how stupid of a decision it is blah blah. So I got the idea of finishing the entire story & giving it to Mich as my farewell gift. Only problem was, there was no time left & we were all busy with schoolwork that I didn't have enough time to finish the story. I only ended up finishing a few chapters. But still, I gave it to her & I'm happy to share that she still haves them up to this day. & yes, she still reads it over & over again. =)

I thank her mostly for being one of my best friends. She's always been there for me, always have given me advices, always listened to me, always supported me, & always stayed a true friend to me. Basta... I love her so much to bits & pieces. I miss her soooooooooo damnfrikkin much! Labyu Mich! Mwah! <3

Yawn. I'm still sleepy.

2006-04-16T18:22:00.000+08:00

Weeeee! MSA tomorrow! Bonding with Nina & Allen yan. Hehehe. I'm excited lol. Si Nina naman natatakot daw. Haha. Kung ano ano kasing iniisip na kalokohan na pwede daw mangyari haha. Baliw. Hmm.. Lalabas ata kami ni Jase bukas. Iuno. Hahaha. Seryoso ba un? Haha. Oh well..

Ermygosh. First time ko kanina magtelebabad up to 7:30am haha. Courtesy of Luigi haha. 5 hours straight haha. Sayang.. Di pa na-beat ung record ko na 6 hours haha. Oh well.. There's always next time. (See Luigi, I put it in my blog haha.)

Hmm.. Malapit na pala ang May. Malapit na kong umalis. Yay haha.

I'm going to add a wishlist on the side. Bwahaha. Para alam nyo kung ano ibibigay sakin pag birthday ko na. Hahahahaha. Joke. =P

Coz she's the blade..

2006-04-15T19:37:00.000+08:00

..& you're the paper..! Lol.. Sugarcult is stuck in my head.. *continues humming*

I'm too lazy to update. But here's the lowdown blah blah...

We went to Subic on Thursday & stayed there for 3 days & 2 nights. It was fun. We didn't get to go swimming coz of the hundreds of people who were also there. But I didn't mind. I didn't have any plans of swimming anyway. There were lotsa bitchy & slutty girls there. I almost had a fight with one of them. Hahaha. Oh well.

Review classes start on Monday. I'm excited. Finally, something productive this summer. I was already dying out of boredom.

Belated happy birthday to the following people:
April 6 - Mac Acosta
7 - Duncan James
8 - Allen Gerona
9 - Gerard Way
10 - Mabellene Jornadal
11 - Kevin Reyes
12 - Jason Manalo

Sunod sunod. Haha. Katuwa naman.

Scroll Stop Scroll

2006-04-07T23:18:00.000+08:00

I just realized that my scrollbars suck if you use Mozilla. Haha. I hate it. Lol. Ima try to change it so it can be compatible with Mozilla. & another thing, I've been trying to find music codes for Juana's Goodbye but I found none. Guess I have to look harder. Oh well.

Rocksteddy's lead vox is sooooo hot. Hahaha. For me, that is. I saw their video this afternoon for Lagi Mo Nalang Akong Dinededma, & he looked soooooo hot! Hahaha. MCR kasi yung dating ng suot nya. Black suit & red tie. So hot amp. Haha. Cute pa ng boses. Bwahaha.. I'm such a sucker for musicians haha. xD

WISHLIST:
1. Rocksteddy's latest album. Iuno the title. Hahaha. xD
2. Sandwich - Five On The Floor album.
3. Hmm.. Alam ko mayroon pang isa ehh.. Nakalimutan ko amp! xD

Hahaha. Buy me one of those & I'll love you forever. Hahaha.

It's too hot.

2006-04-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

So we had our PTC on 040506. Whoa.. Freaky haha. Anyway, I was very happy with my grades. =) Like uber happy hehe. Ms. Pasicolan said that I worked hard on the last quarter that's why I had such high grades. Huwaw naman haha. Well it's true.. I did work my ass off for those grades haha. & damn does it feel so good! All my hard work paid off & it feels soooooooo good hehe. I'm so proud of myself. =D

Zha's going to leave for France in a few hours. Taaaww.. I'm going to miss so her badly. Yes Czarina, I'm admitting it on my blog. Be happy. Haha. Kim & I will surely miss you. Taaaww.. Hahaha.. Oh & another thing, iiwan rin ako ni Ayeth! Haha.. Damn.. Everyone's leaving.. Lol.. Ako rin naman ehh hahah.. =))

Haaaayyyy nakakatamad na sobra. The heat makes me too beat. Lol wtf haha.. Now I partially want to go to Singapore coz it's not too hot there. Haha. XD

So far..

2006-04-04T23:22:00.000+08:00

Summer's been great. So far. That is. Hmm.. Though I know it could be better, I'm content with how it's going so far.

I think I'm still on for that Singapore getaway. But I don't think I want to go anymore. My mom's not going since she's extremely busy this summer. & Zha's not going coz she's got training. So I'm left with my little pest of a cousin. How fun. Note the sarcasm dripping all over it. & besides, I don't want to miss my mom's birthday since I'm going to be staying for a month in Singapore! & her birthday's a big deal for me. So why don't I just cancel? That's the problem. I already told my mom about it but she says it's no big deal. So I'm still going to Singapore. Ugh. It's the first time I don't want to go to Singapore. Like, what's happening to me?! Waaaaaaaaaa.

Well nothing much has been happing. Overnights at Zha's house, movie marathons, food trips, text mode, late night sleeping, oversleeping, telebabad to the max, & the likes. That's what I've been doing so far. How productive ain't it? Oh but what the heck. I love it anyway. At least, I wouldn't have to worry about schoolwork for the meantime.

Which reminds me, PTC is tomorrow. Damn. I'm getting worried. Questions such as "What if I failed?" or "Did I pass Chemistry?" revolve around my head. I'm really really worried. Grades are so crucial right now. Waaa. I really hope I pass. *fingers crossed*

Anyway, things that I ~~have~~wish to accomplish before the summer ends:
1. A new haircut. I'm dying for a new one. I'm so bored with my hair. Preferably emo hair. Diba Pada? Haha.
2. Drum lessons. Grabe, I've been planning for this for like ever but still..
3. Overnight sa kanila Pada!! Hahahah. It's fun. Enough said.
4. Review classes. For the fun of it. & hopefully for some new friends.
5. Buy a drum set. Haha. So impossible but hey, a girl can always dream. Haha.
6. To get this list over with & be happy.

I hate uber hot summer days. I hate sweating. I hate having to feel uber hot temperature. It sucks.

Gimik buddies!

2006-03-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

I went to school today. Stupid clearance. Haha. And I'm still not done with the stupid business profile shit. Grr much haha. So I have to go back to school on Wednesday to pass it. Along with some apology letters because I lost some of my long tests. How unfortunate of me. Blah. Argh.. I'm beginning to care about the stupid clearance. Pfft.

Anyway, I went to Rob today with my gimik buddies. I missed my gimik buddies. Haha. And then when we were going home, they decided to scare me by pulling these scary faces and all that shit. And then Tonio started poking me and tickling me which everybody knows I loathe. Grar. Haha. Unbelievably, Ker was kind enough to tell Tonio to stop it since he noticed that I was getting pissed haha. Nice call Ker. Haha. Oh yeah, sumabay samin si Desi papunta ng Rob. I think he was going back to his school. Yeahh..

About my Singapore trip, the elders [lol] are thinking about it and I think I have a huge chance of staying there for a month. Yayness! They even agreed that Zha can come with me! Like whoa! Haha. Kewlness! And I think Kim is also coming. Haha. Damnnn.. Ansaya nun! I hope matuloy kami. *fingers crossed*

I won't be spending my summer alone haha.

032706. 3:11pm. Outside the school gates. <3

[EDIT 12:26am]
All night I was chatting with Kenneth. Ansaya. Catching up session since it's been a long time since I last talked to that fucker. Haha.
[/EDIT 12:27am]

The song may pass away...

2006-03-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Wow. My Junior life is over. And soon enough, I'm going to be a Senior. And then college! Like whoa.. I don't think I'm ready for it yet. Time flies by so fast.. So fast that you can't stop for a moment because so many good things will pass you by.

Err.. Riiight.. Haha. Anyway, some of the guys are in Bulacan right now. Including Alva and of course, my beloved Luigi. Kaasar nga e. Bitin yung oras namin nung Friday. Bigla kasi silang umalis. Haaayyy.. Anyway, ayos lang. Bonding naman kami ni Danielle afterwards e. Hehe.

Kaso bitin talaga yung oras nung Friday. I didn't get to spend much time with some of my friends. Nagmamadali kasi silang matapos ang school year. Tas nagkaroon pa kami ng away ni Zha! Iuno.. Bahala na..

Oo nga pala.. Umalis na si Jiggy for Thailand. 3 months ata sya dun. Depends actually. I'm gonna miss my big bro. Aww..

I don't have load. Kaya wala akong matext. I don't have money that's why I can't buy load. This is why I hate summer. I don't have any frikkin allowance! Grar! Haha.

Oh yeah.. Baka matuloy ako sa Singapore. And yes, I can bring Zha with me. If ever matuloy ako sa Singapore. Hehe. Yayness! Hehehe.

Tinatamad na ko mag blog. Ano pa ba ang use ng blog kung di ko rin naman masabi ang mga gusto kong sabihin?

Oh well. Summer na! Kaso sobra naman yung init! Nakakatamad tuloy gumalaw!

Oh the sucky-ness.

2006-03-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

Boom. Hindi ata ako matutuloy sa Singapore this summer. Huwaw. What a bummer. That made me sad/pissed off. I really wanted to go to Singapore this summer since I wanted to get away from everything. Everything that reminded me of..

ANYWAY...

Exams are tomorrow. Damn. Di pa ko nag aaral. x_x Haha. Oh well. Stock knowledge lang yan. Haha. Wish me luck. *fingers crossed*

Problemadong tao pala ako according to Sean. HAHA. =))

Gahhh.. Whatever.

[EDIT 032006 7:37PM]
I won't be updating for a week. Funness. =)
[/EDIT 032006 7:38PM]

Lapit na.. =)

2006-03-18T15:46:00.000+08:00

Exam week starts on 032006. I won't be updating by then since I have to focus on the exams. I seriously have to do ~~good~~perfect since this is the last quarter. My last chance.

Earlier, I was watching Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind and I was just so moved. Grabe, I love that movie soooooooo much now. At first I thought it was going to be a waste of time to watch it but I was soooo wrong. I loved every moment of it. The story itself is so beautiful and the actors and actresses portrayed it so beautifully. Especially Jim Carey and Kate Winslet. Idol! Napaiyak nga ako eh. =)) Ang lame I know pero ang ganda kasi sobra.. So sweet and touching..

Anyway, I'm just glad that classes are over. Exams nalang talaga problema ko. Oh well. Kakayanin ko to. Haha. Seniors will be graduating on 032906. I'm gonna miss some of them. Hahahaha.. Some pa talaga eh.. Well, it's true anyway. I'm not going to be plastic and say that I'm going to miss all of them coz I don't even like some of them. Let's see.. Enumerate ko nalang kaya yung mamimiss ko. Tama. Para ayos. Hehe. So I'm going to miss Alphonsus Luigi Alfonso, Margarette Rose Pajanel, Iris Mediavillo, Abigail Victa, Paolo Castro, Seigred Petalver and... Err.. Meron pa ba..? Ok wala na. Haha. That was in no particular order. =)

Olrayt.. Wala na kong masabi.. Haha..

"Masdan mo ang aking mata.. Di mo ba nakikita..?"

Somehow I can't put you in the past.

2006-03-16T19:59:00.000+08:00

Woah. I'm still depressed. Haha. How fucked up. ~~And just when I thought that I was already happy, he brings me down again.~~ *rolls eyes*

Anyway, AVP is freaking due tomorrow! Good thing I was able to convince Sir Alegrid to change our AVP to a promotional one instead of covering the school activities which by the way was our biggest problem since we didn't have any video clips of the school activites. HAHA.

Defense for our Investigatory Project was moved to next week. Sheesh. Pinatagal pa talaga ang suspense. Haha. Argh, can't we just get this done for?

Oh yeah. This morning we had 5 quizzes in the span of 3 hours. Sunod sunod! Parang waterfalls! Hahaha. It was so fucked up. Sumakit yung ulo ko. Natural haha. Oh well. Malapit na rin matapos ang school year eh. Just one more week. Hayyy.. Di ako papasok ng clearance week. I think. Haha. Bahala na si Batman.

So much for the last few days.

2006-03-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

I'm so cramming right now. Why does OB have to come up with such stupid, senseless and idiotic projects that are just a waste of time, money and patience? I'm seriously getting ticked off. It's like every year we have to slave our asses off for those fucking projects that will just be a representation of what our grades are going to be like. Don't they even stop to think that maybe us students are already overloaded with work? That maybe we are already getting fed up..? We have so much lessons to tackle that our brains can explode any moment yet they still continue on piling us with shit that we don't even need. It's just so idiotic. It ticks me off.

End of ranting. God, that certainly didn't do me any good. Haha. It just made me ticked off even more. x_x Oh but what the hell. At least I got that out of my chest.

Exam week is next week. Only 8 more school days left. How fuuunn.. Not. I'm going to miss all of my classmates. But I certainly won't be missing the useless lessons. Oh fuck, I just remembered the stupid clearance. Gahd. I hate being incomplete when it comes to the requirements. Boohoo. Oh well. I don't give a rat's ass anymore. Pfft.

I'm so negative right now. Ah whatever. If you were going through the same shit, and if you are a Junior in OB, then I know that you're feeling the same way too. Gah. Fuck school. I hate school. Nobody said anarchy was wrong anyway. Haha.

stop the press. we need to get this. lol.

2006-03-11T10:55:00.000+08:00

Depression always kicks me in the ass during weird times. *sigh* I've been so depressed this past week. That's why I've been so silent and reserved during class hours. Gahhh.. I hate feeling this way. It always makes me feel so bad. It hinders me from doing the things that I have to do. Oh well. I'm sorry Alva.. I'm sorry I've been depressed.

Err.. Today is the TPR. Us Juniors got kicked out of it. Lol. But I don't mind, I hate it anyway. I hate anything that has to do with CAT, or drills, or rifles, or any of that sort. I'm just not made for that. I was supposed to go and watch the TPR with Jase today but he changed his mind. Haha. So instead, we're just going to Glorietta.

God, I need a break from all this schoolwork. All work and no play makes a plain Jane go insane. Lol. Hahaha. x_x

[EDIT 12:46pm]
Di kami natuloy ni Jase kasi kaming dalawa lang ang makakapunta ng Glorietta. Hahaha. Date? LOL. No thanks. Meron na ko. Haha. Oh well. After exams nalang hehehe.
[/EDIT 12:49pm]

i am awesome.

2006-03-06T21:21:00.000+08:00

I'm not supposed to post since I'm on hiatus but I just couldn't resist since this is too good. Haha. I knew I was born to be a journalist. LOL.

You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing.

Theater

100%

Journalism

100%

Psychology

92%

Dance

92%

Linguistics

92%

Sociology

92%

English

83%

Art

83%

Philosophy

75%

Anthropology

75%

Biology

67%

Mathematics

50%

Engineering

42%

Chemistry

33%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

LOL. This is just TOO GOOD. Haha. Lowest ang Chemistry! Bwahaha! Tama yan! I despise Chemistry so much. Actually I despise anything that involves numbers. Hahahaha.

Oh well. Back to hiatus mode. Haha. Stupid long test week. I'm not in the mood to have long tests. Hell, I'm not in the mood for school anymore. I can't wait for summer vacation!

Gaaaaaaaaahhh..

happy happy joy joy.

2006-03-05T15:34:00.000+08:00

Ehem ehem. I'm in a state of euphoria right now that no one nor nothing can bring me down. I'm so happy. So happy happy joy joy. Hihihi..

*ehem*: hmm..i know i say this alot...and its kinda dramatic...
kiMi: yeah?
*ehem*: but i miss ya and cant wait till tomorrow..

Hihihi.. Just something that we talked about in YM awhile ago. *sigh* Life is great. <3

"I'll bleed for you.. Like a new tattoo.. In my heart.. You'll stay.. Permanent.."

~~Clue: Status niya yan sa YM~~.

Heheheh..

<3

embrace. <3

2006-03-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

Hiatus is over. But I will probably resume on Monday since next week is our long test week. Goshness!

Anyway, it was a really really really eventful week. But nevertheless, it was a fun and happy week. *winkwink* Hihihi.. Err.. Sooo we had our Formal Dinner today. It was very tiring. Stressful. Harassing. And fun. But it was all worth it coz he was there. He made it worthwhile. And I'm really happy coz he was there. And happy because he gave me the latest Urbandub cd! And because he stayed there with me until I went home. And lastly, he likes me. And I like him too. I really really like him. =)

I can't wait till I see him again.

So who IS this person I'm talking about?

Hmm.. Not now. It's not time yet. Soon.

And for those who do know.. Just keep quiet ok? *winkwink*

P.S.
Thank you so much for the Urbandub cd! I was planning to buy it and yeah.. Thank you!!! <3

"I pray, redeem this heart. And be here now."

important details.

2006-02-25T19:30:00.000+08:00

Alright so with regards to..

..THE LAYOUT
Obviously and as expected of me, I have a new layout once again. Err.. it's actually nothing special. It's simple and basic in a way. Black, white, gray and red always mix. Except for my uber pinkish pink tagboard haha. I likey the color of my tagboard so I'm not gonna change it even though it doesn't blend/mix with the other colors. So it will get your attention and tempt you to leave a tag. Lolx. Leaving a tag isn't really hard to do.. It's just a way for you guys to leave your pretty little hearts on my broken sleeve. A way to show your appreciation hehe.

..UPDATING
Starting Monday I won't be updating at all. I guess I'll be on a much needed hiatus. This blog and the internet have been major distractions to me which is a huge factor as to why I have yet to finish or even start any of my articles and blah blah crap bullshit. I cannot afford to waste another fraction of a second without doing anything that involves schoolwork because I am desperately trying to avoid cramming on the last few weeks of school. I still have to work on my articles for our newsletter and get the whole Goddamn newsletter over with and get video clips to edit them for our AVP. And then there's the Formal Dinner which is this coming Friday and then the TPR and then maybe the exams. So the following weeks will surely be hectic, stressful and tiring. I cannot let the internet or this blog or updating for that matter be a distraction to me. But don't worry.. I'll still be online.. I just won't be updating. Or be that active I guess.

..MYSELF
Yes I'm going to include this because this is important. As some of you know I'm going through a difficult time in my life right now. Lotsa problems are popping up and the stress is just too much for me. And because of that I am once again sick. I have a bad case of the colds and I'm having asthma attacks again. I'm also feverish and I get migraines easily now. This is not easy for me because when I am ill, I get really weak, lazy and sluggish. And if I am feeling that way, then I would not get any work done. I do not know what to do since deadlines are coming and fast and I can't take a rest now. The best I can do is drink lots of fluids and try to sleep early. I'm not kidding when I tell you guys that I'm sick. This afternoon I almost passed out. My immune system is dying. My body hates me and is rebelling against me. I'm physically and emotionally stressed. I feel like I'm going to die. Speaking of emotional stress, I am still problematic about the whole Sean and I not talking. It's actually draining the life out of me. I don't know what to do. I don't know when this will end. I just have no fucking clue at all. And he's being all emo which is not helping neither of us at all. I'm just a complete mess right now. On the outside I may look composed but on the inside I'm screaming for help. Ohmygah I better stop with the drama.

So that's about it. It's a good thing I didn't flame anyone in this post. Hmm... Keep in mind what I just typed down about updating. I might start on Monday or tomorrow.. Whichever floats my boat.

By the way, I almost forgot..

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY NICOLE ALEXANDRA BUSTAMANTE!!!

Au revoir.

no classes today!

2006-02-24T11:56:00.000+08:00

So I woke up at 7am with a smile and feeling happy kasi I was waiting for this day for the whole week. Ehem, secret na natin yun. Bwahah. Anyway, when I checked my cp for any messages, I saw that I had a text from Kim so I opened it and wala daw pasok! I couldn't believe it! So I immediately stood up and called the school hoping that what Kim said wasn't true. Since OBMCI has a reputation of still having school kahit na inannounce na sa tv na walang pasok haha. Siraan ba naman ang OB? Hahahahaha! So yeah.. I called the school.. And wala daw pasok. So yess.. That sorta ruined my mood. Pero what the hell, walang pasok! Minsan lang to! Hehehe..

But, it's really boring here.. Halos lahat ng nakakachat ko sa YM bored na bored rin. Hahah. So bored that we want to go to school! Hahah.. Nakakamiss rin pala yun. Hahah. It's just noon and I already miss my classmates. How lame. Haha. Sayang talaga. Lahat ng plano ko for this day na-udlot dahil sa walang pasok na yan. Amfufu.

Last night my mum was so worried about me.. Pumayat daw ako.. And I look haggard daw.. Sobra na daw ako sa stress. Hahah. If only she knows what I have to go through each and single day of my life. Tss.. Ngayon lang nya napansin? Amfufu.. Ang lame naman nun. Sows.. All this emotional stress caught up to me. Tsk tsk. You seriously have to stop stressing Kimi! It's so fugly and not you! Haaayy..

Lately, I've been chatting with quite a few Angeles guys. They're really nice and funny. Si Marco aka Caramel, Allen, Ryan, and Paul. Paul is really hott hahaha. Pero kay ehem na sya. Heheh. May napansin ako kay Danielle at kay Nina.. Mga heartthrobs sila ng Angeles! Hahaha. Naku wag niyo ng i-deny yan! Hehehe.

Ah basta.. Di ako masaya dahil walang pasok ngayon.. I'd rather have Chemistry class today than not have school. Ohemeffgee.. I can't believe I just typed that down! Laaaaaaaaame! Oh well. Who the fuck cares anyway.. Haha..

"Mahal kita pero di mo lang alam.. Mahal kita pero di mo lang ramdam.. Mahal kita kahit di mo na ako tinitignan.. Mahal kita kahit lagi mo nalang akong dinededma.."

my first unfab prom.

2006-02-20T19:56:00.000+08:00

Ok so enough with my problems first.. I just realized that I haven't even started typing anything about the prom so I'ma start now.

Prom was alright. Though it was certainly boring. So ayun.. Before I went to the parlor to get my hair fixed, I went online first and then I got to chat with Carla and Pada. Carla and I had a very dramatic chat and it just sorta made me feel bad. So after that I went to the parlor, got my hair fixed and my make up done. While I was getting my hair fixed, katext ko si Mac who was helping me with my situation with my prom date. She was helping a lot and her advices made me feel good. So anyway, I was so rushing coz I still had to pick up Xtin and Aica so I rushed home, changed to my dress and then went off. After picking them up we went straight to Edsa Shang. Traffic nung una but we still made it. We got there ng mga 6pm haha. Laaaaate! I think haha.. =P So ayun nag register muna kami tas picture picture and then we went inside na and ayun blah blah. Haha.

The program was exceptionally long and boring. Walang kwenta yung Free Dance. As in! Wala silang decent music! Kung sa SA ka nagpatugtog ng music, you'll really get decent music. Anyway, the food was ok I guess. The soup was yummy. I loved it. It was Cream of Cauliflower Soup with Cumin. The name may sound icky but it's really good. The main course, specifically the chicken was blah. It was yucky. Haha. I hated it. I didn't finish it. I barely ate the chicken. I liked the dessert. Haha. It was some sort of cake. Yummay! Pero ang cheap ha! They only served water! Though I have nothing against water since I drink water 24/7, they should have at least served some wine. Hahaha. Asa pa ang O.B. hahah. XD

The only good thing about the prom was that I met new people. From GH, we have Ace who was so fucking hyper haha. Mind you, she's a hot gothic chick whom I got along well with. If you saw me dancing or laughing with this tall, white girl wearing a long red dress, well that's her. From LP, I finally met Takeshi! Haha.. Takeshi was really fun! He kept calling me "rich kid" and he even said that I looked like Ms. Alva! Haha! Weirdo.. And I also met Pam, Keshi's friend who was also hyper and fun. And then there's Heidi! Hihihi.. She's pretty. I expected her to be more prettier but.. Never mind. In Angeles, I met Allen who just suddenly popped out of nowhere which shocked me haha. But he was really nice though we didn't really get to talk at all. Shame. I didn't get to meet Marco because according to Allen, Marco was suffering from shyness. Aww haha. Another shame. =P

I went home around 12:30 since my parents got there early. Ergh. Haha. And then me and my mum had a huge argument blah blah. So yeah. That was it.. My unfab prom. Haha. Told to you by the most unfab person you'll ever meet. LOLX. XD

daming problems.

2006-02-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

Basahin nyo lang tagboard ko at ang daming kadramahan that's taking place. Just a few days ago, my life was so simple and care-free and I was so fucking happy. But now, everything took a 180-degree turn and now everything is just so fucking messed up.

Alam ko na wala akong kwentang kaibigan. Alam ko na nasasaktan kita. Pero it doesn't fucking mean that I want to! Alam mo.. The past couple days were so senseless kasi ang laki na ng binago ng friendship natin.. We both had something to do with what's happening right now.. You wanna know what? Well first ikaw.. Inamin mo na mahal mo ko as more than a friend.. And ako naman.. I became cold and distant and focused all of my attention to Alva which I know I shouldn't have done. And I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. And I know this is so lame kasi dito ako nagaapologize pero di ko kayang mag apologize sayo ng harap harapan kasi sobra akong nahihiya sa mga pinaggagawa ko. Nahihiya ako kasi wala akong kwentang kaibigan. Nahihiya ako sa pagtrato ko sayo. Hindi mo lang talaga alam kung gaano ako nagsisisi. Sorry na talaga. I understand kung ayaw mo ng ituloy itong kalokohan na tinatawag nating "friendship". I understand kung ayaw mo na kong makausap. Hindi ko lang talaga alam kung pano tayo nagkaganito. Ano bang ginawa ko para magkaganito tayo? Bakit tayo nagkaganito? Alam mo ba na hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko? Alam mo ba na naiiwan na ko? Na hindi ko na alam kung sinong tatakbuhan ko?

This is where Alva comes in the picture. Since Zha has Jiggy now I don't want to bother her with my problems. So si Alva ung lagi kong tinatakbuhan. Alam nya kung anong nararamdaman ko and shit like that. So I'm guessing na your asking yourself kung bakit di ikaw ang takbuhan ko? Bakit hindi ikaw ang kausapin ko since your my bestguyfriend and sumunod lang si Alva. Alam mo kung bakit? Kasi I ask Alva for advice on what to do with my situation with you. I ask for his help. Sure na-focus ko attention ko kay Alva pero it doesn't mean that I don't care about you anymore.

Everything is just so ironic now. All of my problems started popping out since me and Josh broke up. Ang stupid talaga. Sometimes I wish that I was dead. Sometimes I wish that I was living another life. Sometimes I wish that none of this was happening right now. Pero hanggang dun lang talaga.. Hanggang wish lang that would never come true.

whatta life!

2006-02-16T21:14:00.000+08:00

Pagod na ko. Pagod na kong sumayaw. Pagod na kong pumasok ng iskul. Pagod na kong mabuhay. Paulit ulit na lamang ang nangyayari sa buhay ko. It's like history is once again repeating itself. Bagong problema, bagong conflicts, bagong misunderstandings, bagong sakit ng ulo. Hindi ko na nakakaya. Hindi ko na kakayanin. Hindi ko na talaga kaya. Physical and emotional stress is weighing down on me. And I don't even have some kind of a sanctuary or a refuge. I feel so weak. I feel so helpless. I feel like giving up.

I miss Alva. Almost 3 days ko na siyang di nakakasama dahil sa stupid Debate na yan. Namimiss ko tuloy yung conversations namin, yung kulitan namin, yung pagka-weird naming dalawa, lahat na ng ginagawa namin namimiss ko na. Buti nalang natapos narin yang Debate na yan. We haven't been really talking much. Lagi nalang through YM pero laging putol since we're both busy doing other stuff. So I'm looking forward to tomorrow what with the catching up on the last 3 days.

Hay naku ang drama ng buhay ko ngayon. Even though it doesn't look like it since I'm always smiling and laughing.. Naku ang dami ko talagang problems. Lately ang lagi kong tinatakbuhan ay sina Gallard, Dale, Xtin, Andoy and of course si Alva. Hay bastaaa.. Sawa na ko sa drama. Sawa na ko sa kakaiyak. Sawa na ko maging problemado. Sawang sawa na talaga ako.

Prom ni Luigi tomorrow. Prom ng anak ko bukas. Heheh. Speaking of Luigi, he's been making me smile and laugh for the past 2 days. Saya naman. Heheh. Mahal ko yung anak kong yun! Bwahahah.. =P Since I brought up the topic of prom, tinatamad na talaga ako pumunta ng prom. Wala pa kong shoes. Wala pa kong accessories. Wala pa kong bag. Wala pa kong afterplans for the prom. Haaay ano ba itech.. Haha.. Katamad talagaaaaaaa!

happy vday! <3

2006-02-14T20:12:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentines Day. Happy Hearts Day. Happy Single Awareness Day. Whatever you wanna call it. =P

Anyway, I had fun today. Even though I didn't have anyone special to celebrate this day with, it was all good. I had a chance to bond with my super prens and I'm loving it. Heheh. Bastaa.. Tapos yung mga boys namin mga binata na! Hahahahahaha.. =P Ano pa ba..? Hmm.. Ayun si Simon may incident report nanaman! Hahah.. Nakuuu.. And then us non catholics had to endure the mass awhile ago. I have no idea why. Tss.. =P But hey, it was fun. Coz I was with Zha and we were just talking and shit and making fun of people and shit like that. Haha. Typical us... *rolls eyes* Hahaha..

And I had to stay at school for our dance practice for the prom. Tss.. Lolx. And I had to wear heels! So yes, my feet hurt.. A LOT. Haha.. I'm not used to wearing heels since I always wear my Havaianas or my Chucks. Speaking of prom, it's this Saturday! My my, how fast time flies.

I got flowers from Joaquin today. It was totally unexpected. Coz we were just kidding each other and I was like "Don't forget my flowers!" and then poof! He got me flowers! Haha.. Weird but it was still nice. And the fact that I got that early in the morning made me start my day with a genuine smile and a real laugh. So I was really thankful. As for Sean, he gave me flowers too since he's my prom date. They were beautiful. I remember how amazed Alva was because of the flowers haha. He was like "It's so nice to mix nature with love." Something like that.. =P Weird guy haha..

But nevertheless, it was a good day. Better than what I was expecting. =)

poetry is fun. =)

2006-02-13T20:42:00.000+08:00

Elocution Festival was today. There were a lot of stellar performances. And shocking winners. Hehehe. Even though it was so hot since us -the Juniors- were wearing our Alpha uniforms, and even though I had a massive headache for the whole day, and it was boring me to death and I was so sleepy, it was still fun. =)

Syempre katabi ko kasi mga boys eh. Bwahaha. There's not a moment that's boring or dull when you're with our boys. Hahaha. Kung ano ano pinaguusapan nila eh. Even though most of the time they talk about Dota. Lolx. I still love our boys. <3333333 Dale was really good. It's a shame she didn't win. But she really was good. And then Alva was good too. He gave a good performance. Sayang di ren siya nanalo. Joshua Salvacion of the 2nd year was amazing. Haha. Even though his actions were already funny and shit, ang galing paren! Hahah. He was so good that he won 1st place in the Junior Division. Niiice. Hehe.

But Czarina Cartailler of the 3rd year B was fantastic. She symbolized hot shot newcomer. Wahahah. Galing talaga ni Bhebz! Heheh. First time makasali sa Elocutions tapos nanalo! Wohoo! Hehehe. I'm sososoooooooooooooo fucking proud of her! Labyu Czarina Louie Pierre Michael Jean Abarquez Zafra Cartailler! Hahah. Haba talaga ng name mo! Hahahahah.. =P

Anyway, Valentines Day is tomorrow. Tsss... More like Single Awareness Day hahahah. Oh well.. To all the lovers and couples out there, may you have a beautiful Valentines Day tomorrow. To all the single people out there, remember that it's fun being single. *winkwink* Hahaha.

and i'm rememberin you when you broke my heart.
2006-02-11T19:17:00.000+08:00
OHEMEFFGEE!!! I so fucking heart this song: "Come Around" by Rhett Miller.

Si Dale kasi eh! Hahaha.. =P

YM convo namin:

danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:11:54 PM): I was hollow then, till you filled me in Now I'm empty again I should have never let it start
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:11:55 PM): awww
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:12:31 PM): haha.. i hafta search the lyrics! hahah.. :P
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:13:00 PM): its for you kimeh :P
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:13:09 PM): haha.. riiight.. :P
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:13:17 PM): :P

kiMi (2/11/2006 7:16:14 PM): No one else can fix me Although sometimes my heart tricks me Into thinkin someone else will do You are the only one, you are the only one
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:16:16 PM): waaaaaa hahaha
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:16:16 PM): :P
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:16:34 PM): :(
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:16:39 PM): dang hahah
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:16:48 PM): haha.. it speaks to me!
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:16:49 PM): :))
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:16:50 PM): :P
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:16:55 PM): i shouldnt have told you the title dang
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:16:58 PM): hahah
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:17:08 PM): no way man haha.. i lurve this song! ima go download it hahah
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:17:08 PM): :P
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:17:24 PM): feeling ko it'll make you feel bad lang? ee
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:17:45 PM): no way man
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:17:46 PM): hahaha
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:17:58 PM): im so positive that its going to be my current LSS ::
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:17:59 PM): :P
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:18:06 PM): coz of mee
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:18:14 PM): haha.. dont worry ayt? ;)
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:18:15 PM): hehe
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:18:22 PM): im soooo digging old songs dang
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:18:27 PM): status ko, oasis
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:18:29 PM): haha
kiMi (2/11/2006 7:18:37 PM): nostalgia ba tayo ngaun? wahahaha.. :P
danielle44810 (2/11/2006 7:18:53 PM): haha

Aww. Haha. Nababaliw kami ni Dale haha. I love her so much. =) Labyu! Hehehe..

Eto na yung lyrics. Wahaha. Immerse yourself in the lyrics. Drown yourself in the song. Haha.

Come Around by Rhett Miller

I'm dressed all in blue
and I'm rememberin you
and the dress you wore,
When you broke my heart
I'm depressed upstairs
and I'm rememberin where
and when and how and why
You have to go so far

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Unless you come around
So come around

I'm dressed all in white
and i remember the night
You came onto me
and opened up my heart
I was hollow then, till you filled me in
Now I'm empty again
I should have never let it start

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Unless you come around
So come around

No one else can fix me
Although sometimes my heart tricks me
Into thinkin someone else will do
You are the only one, you are the only one

Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
Unless you come around, So come around
So come around
So come around

I'm dressed all in blue
and I'm rememberin you
and the dress you wore,
When you broke my heart

sickness.

2006-02-11T18:39:00.000+08:00

I'm sick.

OhmyGod this sucks so much. I can't believe I'm sick! I cannot afford to be sick! Especially with my tight schedule!

Choral presentation is on Monday.
Never ending quizzes for next week.
Prom on Saturday!

Shit man. I can't be sick! Argh. This is a nightmare. Of all times to be sick, it had to be NOW!

And what made me sick was the stupid CAT training this morning. Fuckit. Stupid fucking CAT.. *Rolls eyes*

Oh yeah..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICO!!!!!!

homework attack! >_<

2006-02-09T20:37:00.000+08:00

So many homeworks, so veeeeeery little time. So many homeworks, so little patience. Seriously, I'm not in the mood for any homeworks at all. Lately, I've been doing all of my homeworks at school. Kahit class hours wala akong patawad eh! Haha.. Basta, I hafta get my homeworks done ASAP.

Which brings me to my current dilemma. My signpen sucks coz it has no more ink and the printer also has no ink and I think it's busted so I can't print my damn article for Journalism which is due tomorrow. Which brings me again to my second dilemma. I DON'T HAVE A TOPIC FOR MY FUCKING ARTICLE. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm so cramming right now. Argh.

Btw, CAT training on Saturday. AGAIN! Argh.. I wanna rest.. I wanna sleep.. School is depriving me of sleep! I hate school.

reco.

2006-02-07T19:37:00.000+08:00

So today, us Juniors had our Recollection and it was fun. It was entertaining, educational, and just plain fun. Sir Jojo (the facilitator) was really really funny and good. He totally knew what he was saying. Idol! Hehehe. Basta, it was fun.

Anyways, I'm too pissed off to blog right now. I'll update next time. If you want to know more about our reco, just visit Jason's blog.

Wednesday na bukas. Ayokong pumasok. Gusto ko ng matapos tong school year na to.

fun. fun. funnnnnnn!! heheh.

2006-02-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

Summary of my day:

PE - I got told off by Mrs. Delos Trinos about my accessories.. AGAIN. For the nth time. Nothing new there. And then, we had a seatwork. We had to write our "Ideal Date". I really rolled my eyes upon hearing what we had to write about. So, the angry and bitchy side of me started heating up. Haha. But I managed to pull of a pretty good "Ideal Date" which I don't really give a fuck about. Tss. *rolls eyes* Then we danced Boogie, Tango, Cha Cha and Swing. It was uber fun! And then we also practiced our dance for the prom. Dancing all the waaaay! Hehe.

Break time - Went to the guidance. For guidance! Hahahahahaha. Shit, how fucking pathetic was that hahaha.. =))

Chemistry - Activity about Boyles Law, Charles' Law, Dalton's Pressure thingy, and Ideal Gas Law. The other group did their IP while our group had to suffer the activity. Haha. Poor poor us. Yung mga iba kasi diyan.. Di nagdala ng materials.. Hahah... Wait, ~~kasama pala ako dun sa di nagdala~~.. XD

Lunch - Tambay with Seanny and Jase. Laugh trip. Happy mode.

RHGP - Very tension-y. I would not explain any further.

English - Mr. Alegrid was absent so we had to do a seatwork. It was pretty easy but I was too lazy so I didn't finish it. Haha.

Filipino - Takedown notes. I was still too lazy. I didn't even make it through half. Haha. I just kept on talking to Alva. Daldal ko talaga. Hehehe..

Geometry - Seatwork about Law of Sines. It was fucking hard. Tsss.. Haha. Bawal pa kami magtanong kay Sir. Too bad. Since I didn't know what to do, nag imbento nalang ako. But alas, I didn't get the answer. No partial points pa. Kaya instant zero. Hahaha.

Dismissal - Tambay sa Bambu with Zha and Jiggy. We're always hanging out there now. I don't know why. But it's fun hanging out there. Coz we have our own little world. And it's cool coz I forget my problems even for just a little while. Plus, I'm spared from getting badtrip because some of the people at school suck.

It was a pretty good and funnnnnn day! Hehe. Except for the zero I got in Geometry. And the never ending issues for us Juniors. But nevertheless, it was all good. Recollection ng Juniors tomorrow. Parang tinatamad ako. Haha. But, I will still go for the sake of my perfect attendance. Hehe. Wala pa kong absence this school year. I luuuuurve it. Hehe. Oh, and I'm going to make sure that Alva cries tomorrow. Hahaha. Well, at least, I hope he does...

lucky mehh.

2006-02-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

Eheheh. I didn't get to go to Camp Crame this morning because of.. Well.. Uhh.. Because I didn't wake up. Haha. I swear I did not hear my alarm clock ringing. And the fact that my cellphone's vibration was off so I didn't know that X was already calling me and texting me. Hahaha. =P Oh well. There's always next training. Pfft. Haha.

So yeah, I just spent the whole day.. Here.. At home.. In my room.. In front of the computer.. Yes, it was a veeeeeeeeeeeeery productive day. Haha. And I have yet to start on my articles for the newsletter! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! IamsofuckingdeadonMonday.

Anyways, me and my familia are going swimming tomorrow. How fuuuuuunn! Heheh. Iitim nanaman ako.. Waaa... I'm going to control myself tomorrow at pag umaraw na, titigil na ko. Hahaha. Note to myself: Stop over at Starbucks and get caffeine fix. Hehehe.

Lately, tinatamad akong magtxt ng people. Kaya sorry talaga Seanny kung minsan di na kita tinetext or nirereplyan! Sorry talaga! Ewan.. Nawawala na kasi ung pagka-textaholic ko. Haha. Sorry talagaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Anyways, greetings galore!!!

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY GALLARD!!!!!!!!!
ADVANCED HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY TUZ!!!!!!!!!!!!
ADVANCED HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY GIANINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Birthday nila Kuya Tuz at Gianina tomorrow! So don't forget to greet them guys. *winkwink*

Camp Crame? OMG!

2006-02-03T19:48:00.000+08:00

Crame training tomorrow. Almost all of the guys are not going tomorrow. How sucky. I do not know if I'm going tomorrow. I do not even want to go. But I have to. Coz it's our exams already. Sheesh. How fucking sucky. I fucking loathe L.T.

Lately, I've been having good grades. Perfect scores in seatworks and quizzes. Even in Chem! That's nice. I even got a 91% in Logic and a 97% on LOP! Like, woah man! Haha. And I really didn't even study for those subjects. Amaaaazing. Hehehe. But I got really bummed earlier when I received my exam grade in Chem. Pasang awa! Sobraaa! How sucky. *Pouts*

A few hours ago during Journalism, we were assigned to write a Feature Article about these different topics. And then Sangmee told me that the topics that Sir Alegrid just dictated were topics from this ad that she saw in the newspaper today. So I checked it out and I saw that it was for the Journalism Award 2006. I think that was the name. I forgot. Haha. Anyways, I got really excited and now I'm brainstorming for topics that I could write about. Hehehe. So yes, I'm seriously gonna join. Alva wants to have a poetry writing contest. Haha. I bet he'd win. He's really good for a beginner. Sometimes I envy his poetry writing skills. Haha. Yes Alva you read this right! I envy you.. Sometimes.. Haha.. Galing mo kasi mag-rhyme ng words tas nandun parin ung gusto mong ipahiwatig! Kahit na short poem lang un! Ang astig kasi eh! And the fact that you do all of your poems in English! I applaud you Alva. Kasi kahit ako minsan nahihirapan ako pag English eh. Haha. So yeah, expertise ko kasi ung Tagalog poems eh. You know that right Alva? Hehehe. =P

To Alva: You suck! Hahahaha. =P Di ka pupunta bukas sa Crame. Daya mo. Haha. Magsuot kaya ako ng cast..? Hahaha. Uyy, first prom niya bukas! Hehehe. Ingatan mo si Nicole tomorrow ok? Hehehe. =) Don't forget the corsage! *Winkwink*

new layout. again! haha. =P

2006-01-31T20:42:00.000+08:00

New layout. Haha. Walaaaaaa lang. So yeah. That's the reason why my status in YM was "Busy". Hahahaha. Kala niyo kung ano na ginagawa ko noh? Like, studying or doing homeworks? HAH! Asa pa! Hahaha! Ok, I'm content with this layout now. Hehehe. =P

eyes are feeling heavy, but they never seem to close.

2006-01-31T19:41:00.000+08:00

Ok, so what happened today? Well, quite a lot actually. It's been an eventful day and I likey it. Haha.

Ok, well when I got to school today I was not feeling really well since my whole body ached. Well, katangahan ko yun so yeah. I brought my iPod Mini today to school just for kicks. Hehe. Good thing I didn't get caught. Wahaha. Anyways, the Freshies had their recollection today so the short way to the Cafe was blocked so we had to use the long way. Sheesh. That was tiring. Super. Haha. Then I made Carla and Jiggy talk about their "problem". Then during History time, Mrs. Cereno confiscated my earrings. I seriously have no idea what our school has against dangling earrings. Like, pati ba naman yun pakikielaman nila? Juskupo. Haven't they ever heard of "accesorizing"? SHEESH MAN. TALK ABOUT BEING UNFAIR. Haha. Tapos lunch time, may "confrontation". Blah blah. Basta, yun na yun. Haha. Well, I think that was "the truth". But I don't know. I don't know who or what to believe anymore. Sauce. At least, I think the problem was resolved. Dunno dunno. Haha. Moving on, during English time we had a debate and it was fun coz I was debating against Alva and it was just funny haha. In other news, I passed our Filipino, Food Tech, and Geometry exams. YAAAAAY! I passed Geometry! I seriously was not expecting that I would pass Geometry since I didn't really study that hard. A little prayer goes a long way. Hehehe.

I'm planning of changing the layout. As soon as possible. Well, maybe tonight. Haha. Argh. Instead of starting on my articles for the newsletter which is due tomorrow, I'm chatting and listening to music and shit like that. Sauce. Wala akong pakke! Haha! Shet.. Ok lang yan. I guess. Haha. But it's not. Ako pa naman leader sa punyetang newsletter na yan. AMPF.

trip ko. trip mo. trip nating lahat!

2006-01-29T20:14:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha! Ang SAYA ng Batangas! Hahaha! It was a weekend of pure relaxation and serenity. It's like I was living another life. The kind of life that I wish for. Yung tipong walang problema, walang backstabbers, you know. Shit like that. ANYWAYS, time to make kwento about the whole trip. Wahaha.

Day 1.
I woke up early so I wouldn't be late since I'm always late for gimiks and shit like this. Haha. So ayun, I packed my stuff, went to Zha's place and for the first time, I wasn't late. Haha. Camille was late. Haha. So ayun, while we were waiting for Camille, tambay sa house ni Zha. We were comprised of Zha, her mom, her lil sister, me, Kim, Jiggy, Haru, Andoy and his Kuya and lastly, Camille. So ayun, the ride to Batangas was fun coz we were all hyper and we were just singing, screaming, talking, laughing so much. Haha. Tapos siyempre, pikchur pikchur. Haha. Kaso nga lang, di ako nakapag Starbucks kasi ayaw ni Tita Rhodora. Haha. Baka ma-delay pa daw kami. So, wala akong caffeine fix nun. Haha. Sayang. Anyways, when we got there swimming agad! Haha! Well, not really swimming kasi nag snorkeling kami. And then there was like this lake or something na man made tapos you'd think na it's shallow but when you swim in it, dude ang lalim sobra! Tapos in that man made lake, there were lil sharks, huge turtles, colorful fishes, and corals. It was sooooo beautiful and amazing. And then we went snorkeling in the sea and we saw this HUGE blue starfish! Ang cute haha. Kaso lang ang daming sea urchins haha. At tsaka, medyo mabato dun sa shallow parts. After that, we went swimming in the pool and all of them were sliding in the slide dun sa may pool. I didn't because of a scary experience with slides when I was a child haha. How lame. Haha. Tapos ayon, we went to the aviary where there were eagles tapos billiards, ping pong, talon sa trampoline, explore explore, pikchur pikchur ulet. And then we had dinner, after that nagpalit na sa pantulog, and then tambay dun sa may helipad. It was a dark night so kitang kita namin yung stars. The sky was totally blanketed with stars. It was filled! I even saw a shooting star! And I made a wish. But, it seems totally impossible that my wish will come true. Haha. Wag niyo ng alamin kung anong hiniling ko. Haha. We saw Orion's Belt, the Small Dipper, and Jiggy claims that he saw Orion himself. Since it was sooo beautiful there during the night and I was feeling emo, I texted him. Sauce. Haha. And then, me, Zha and Jiggy watched the fireworks and then we slept. Jiggy slept in our room since the boys locked him out. Haha.

Day 2.
Me, Zha and Jiggy were supposed to go jogging early in the morning but since we slept late, we overslept. Haha. I was soooo sleepy but we had to wake up coz we were going to eat breakfast and go to an island. So yeah. We had breakfast, and that was my first breakfast for the Year 2006. Haha. Jiggy even recorded it. Haha. I was low batt already so I asked Haru if I could borrow his charger so we had to leave my cellphone on the resort. Aww. Haha. So yeah, we had 2 boats. One for the guys and one for the girls. So we went to the island, went snorkeling again, I got scraped in the knee and now I have a lot of small wounds. And they hurt so fucking much. Haha. Shet! Di na ko flawless! Hahahaha! So yeah. Dami nanamang sea urchins ampf. Haha. Since my wound was bleeding badly haha, I had to get out of the water or else a shark would eat me. I bet someone would like that. HAHAHA. Anyways, ayun, I just hung out with Haru and Kuya JM (Andoy's Kuya). I was lying on the hammock listening to Haru's music from his N-Gage QD -tama ba? haha.- while they were talking amongst each other and Kuya JM was swinging the hammock so I was getting sleepy already. Haha. Then we had lunch, talked about legends of the sea, stayed there for a few minutes, then went back to the resort. The boat ride back to resort was sooooo scary! It was really really windy so the waves were HUGE! Our boats were jumping and I seriously thought that our boat would tip over. Haha. I was so fucking soaked. Haha. But we made it safely back to the resort. Then we went swimming in the pool, then took a shower, got dressed, and went home. The ride home was at first quiet since we were all tired. I think a lot of us fell asleep including me and Zha. Kuya JM took a picture of me and Zha sleeping and we looked cute. Haha. After everyone got their rest, we started talking, singing, screaming, laughing so much and being hyper. Then we had a few stop overs to buy food and we got to stop at a Starbucks! We were all shouting "Yay's!" hahaha. Then we went back to Zha's place and then we all went home. Tita Rhodora and Zha brought me home since my mum couldn't coz she was with my grandpa. So yeah. It was funnnn!

When I got home, I instantly checked her blog and I was soooooooo psyched about it! Haha! It was fanfuckingtabulous! Hahaha! I loved all of her posts. Grabeh! So scandalous man! Haha. Oh yeah. Nagmukha nanaman akong tanga. Haha. Pucha talaga. Haha. Oh well. Wala na kong pake. Haha. Weh Kimi. Haha. Asaaaaa. Hahahahaha. Argh, ang hapdi nung sugat ko. Haha. Namula raw ako sobra sabi ni Mommy. Waaaaaaaaa. Hahaha. Eh next week we're going swimming again. This time, with the whole familia! Hahaha! Shet, iitim ako nito! Waaaaaaaaaa! T_T

swimming time!

2006-01-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

Batangas trip tomorrow! Wohoo!!! I seriously cannot wait until tomorrow haha. Well, why am I so excited? Coz I'm going to be with my friends! And it's overnight! Wahaha. Amazing. Haha. Well, we're going to Batangas to celebrate Zha's birthday. Hehe. Her expenses, her transpo, her everything. Haha. It's so coolness. =)

Finally this week is over. It has been one of my most stressful, tiring, exhausting, emotional, and fun weeks. Haay. Malapit na rin matapos ang January! Finally! God, I seriously hate this month. Ang daming kagaguhan na nangyari. Haha. Para siyang September! Coz my September was so fucking horrible. Haha. I hated it like I hate January now. Grr! Haha. =P

Oh well. I'm too lazy to blog right now so yeah. I won't be online tomorrow since I'm at Batangas so yeah. Haha. ~~At least wala akong makikitang dehmonyita~~. HAHAHA. =))

updates. =)

2006-01-26T16:11:00.000+08:00

Exams week is almost over so I can finally breathe a sigh of relief now. Tomorrow is going to be easy since it's only RHGP and Accounting. So yeah. Yayness. And then there's going to be regular classes. *rolls eyes* BOOOOO!!!!!!!! Ang KJ talaga ng OB. HAHAHAHA. XD

Well, let me do a recap of the past 4 days haha. =P

Monday - Exams in English, Food Tech, Computer and Journalism. It was ok, in some ways. Our Journalism exam was fun. Coz we had to do a personality sketch of a classmate and well, Alva did a personality sketch of me and I of him! He let me read what he wrote and I was sosososoooo touched! I swear I love Alva. -As a friend!- Hahah. =P And Zha also did a personality sketch of me. I was so touched by them. Hehe. The both of them wrote about my writing skills. Amazing hehe. I love them so much! Hihi.

Tuesday - I forgot what we had but I knew that we had History. And it was sooooooo fucking hard. There's a 99.9% that I might fail History. This might actually be the first time that I may fail History. Tsktsk. Ohwell. I think we also had L.T., Values Ed and LOP. I forgot. Haha.

Wednesday - Exams in Chemistry, Filipino and Music. I studied really really really really REALLY really hard for Chem so there's a 50/50 chance that I might pass. Yaaaaay! Heheh. I might fail Filipino since I didn't study for it. Haha. I got lazy so yeah.

Today - Exams in Geometry, P.E. and LOP. Geometry was so fucking hard. I'm gonna fail. I know I'm gonna fail. Tss. It pissed me off a lot. But our proctor was the teacher for Japanese and since she was making funny remarks most of the time, she cooled my head off. But after the exam in Geom, I got a really bad headache. Tsktsk. P.E. was crap. I hated it. I loathed it. Haha. Logic was alright. Ok, it was easy. Like, really easy. Haha. =P

So yeah. It's been a tiring week since I've been studying a lot. Which is something new. Haha. Ewan. Bigla ko nalang siniryoso yung exams. Haha. Weiiird. Ohwell. I guess it's a good thing. Anyways just wanna greet 3 important persons in my life:

BELATED HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE ATENTO!!!

BELATED HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY CZARINA LOUIE PIERRE MICHEL JEAN CARTAILLER!!!

ADVANCED HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY SANGMEE LEE!!!

Heheh. I'm going to Batangas on Saturday with my super prens! Wohoo! Swimming time haha. Kaso lang, madalas ang ulan ngayon. Awww. Pero, ok lang yan! Haha. Tuloy parin yan! Heheh.

Oh yeah, I was so touched with Rachel's post on her blog dated January 24, 2006. I was sosososoooo touched! I love her soooo much! Thank you so much Rachel! Mwaaah!

like i care. tss.

2006-01-22T19:37:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Ok. You got your side of the story out, so I guess it's just right that I give mine.

The reason why I revived that issue was out of impulse. Immediately, when I found out that you and Josh French kissed each other, I was shocked and hurt. Well duh, who wouldn't be shocked and hurt if they found out that their exboyfriend -boyfriend at that time- and good friend French kissed each other? Look at it in my perspective, will you? If I French kissed Desi who was your boyfriend at that time, what would you feel? Wouldn't you react the same way as I did? Wouldn't you feel the same way as I did? Wouldn't you feel hurt, betrayed? Tss. Even though it was out of fun, you didn't think of the consequences. You just thought about yourself. You didn't even think about me. And the fact that your whole batch kept this from me? That fucking hurt. You know, you could have told me the next day and we could have fixed it and none of this would be happening right now.

So what's my issue? You betrayed me. And it's a good thing you know that. Not only you, but Josh too. You both kept this from me thinking it was for the "extreme good"? Tss. Think again. I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. Friends don't go and French kiss their friend's boyfriend for fun behind her back. Tss. That's cheap.

But hey, it's your lives. Go ahead and make yourselves look cheap. I wouldn't care anymore. Basta, I got my side of the story out. I don't wanna deal with this shit anymore. I'm through with this. Never again would you hear this issue slip away from my pretty lips.

By the way, I wouldn't really give a damn if Josh replaced me for you. Josh doesn't need a lover, he needs a bitch.

bunnies!!!!

2006-01-22T15:01:00.000+08:00

As you guys can see, there's a new layout! Hehehe. Of veeeeeeery cute bunnies! Hihihi. Guess who I'm dedicating it for? Hihihi. Yeah, you guessed it right! Seanny!! Mwahaha! Wala lang. Ang cute niya nuh? Hihihi. So yeah. Eto muna layout ko. Hehe. Bagong taon, bagong layout. Haha.

Ang stupid nga eh. Kasi ilang beses kong inulit ulit tong layout na toh kasi nagloloko ung IE ko. Ampf. Luckily, nagcooperate narin ung IE ko. Hahaha. So yeah. Hope you guys like the new layout. Hehe.

Please leave a tag and tell me your comments about the new layout. Pretty please? Hihihi. =P

wala lang. hihi.

2006-01-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

Bakit ganon? Bakit ang lalandi nila? I fucking trusted her. I fucking trusted him. I fucking trusted them! I even thought na hindi na kami mag aaway. I even thought na yung mga issues namin tapos na. I considered her as my friend. Akala ko friends na kami. I was nice to her, I treated her kindly. I respected her. I respected her actions, her opinions. I confided in her. I comforted her. I was there for her as she was for me. Pero anong ginawa niya? AYUN. Ginawa niya yun. She backstabbed me. They both lied to me. They kept this from me. Not only them, but their whole batch. Tell me, sinong di masasaktan sa ginawa nila? Bakit hindi sila marunong mag isip? Diba nila naisip na may nasasaktan sa ginagawa nila? O talaga bang ginagawa nila toh in purpose? Taeee. Tas sasabihin niya na hindi niya ginusto ang nangyari eh hanggang ngayon ginagawa parin nila? Pucha. Sinong niloloko niyo? Tangina. Sinira niyo nanaman buhay ko. Hindi niyo lang talaga alam kung gaano ako nasasaktan sa mga ginagawa niyo. I trusted you. I thought I knew you. Pero ganon ka rin pala. You're no different from them. Isa ka ring backstabbing bitch na sobrang plastic. Bagay nga kayo. Isang dehmonyita at Satan. Putangina niyo. You can all burn in hell for all I care. Tss..

WALA LANG. HAHAHAHAHA. Naglalabas lang ng galit. Hahaha. Tss. Hayaan niyo na muna kong mag ganito. Haha. Minsan lang naman ako maglabas ng galit eh. Haha. Masyado na kasi yung ginawa nila eh. So ayun. Wala lang. Hahahahaha.

Yung mga nakabasa niyan, quiet lang kayo. Hahaha. Pero I dunno. Goodluck nalang sa pagbasa niyan. Hahahaha. Kung mababasa niyo nga. Mwahahaha.

Para sa aking panapos.. Haha..

~~Sa totoo lang, anong klaseng kaibigan ka? Trinaydor mo ko. Tae. Di ka ba nakokonsensiya sa ginawa mo? Hmm. Teka lang. Wala nga palang konsensiya ang mga dehmonyita~~.

Tae. Wala nang pakielamanan. Wala na talaga akong pake kung may makabasa niyan. Haha. Wala narin talaga akong pake kung magkagulo. Suuus. Sila naman may kasalan nito eh. Sila nagumpisa nito. Kaya tatapusin ko toh. HAHAHAHA. =))

Haay, insanity strikes again. Haha.

it was yours to begin with.

2006-01-21T17:10:00.000+08:00

Just wanna share this lurvely song that I totally fell in love with. Hehehe.

Smashed Into Pieces by Silverstein

Never again.
I'll slit my throat with the knife I pulled out of my spine.
Maybe when you find out that I'm dead, you'll realize what you did to me.

[Chorus]
And if my lungs still let me breathe, would you be there for me.
If I can make myself believe, I'll give you back what you took away.

No, I won't let it go.
Douse myself in gasoline.
So don't save me when you come into the fire.
I'd rather die than have to see your smile.

[Chorus]

You made me swear.
I, I can't sleep.
Realize all these things that you took from me.
Smash my heart into dust.
Suffocate my mind.
Tear at me from inside.
Smash apart what you created.
How can I ever stop you from crushing my soul?
It was, it was yours, yours to begin with.

[Chorus]

Yayness. Hehe. I heart this song so much. Heheh. This song fucking owns! Mwahaha! =p

Exams week on Monday. I probably won't be updating by that time since I want to focus on the exams. Hihi.

just a few things..

2006-01-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

This will be quick since I wanna go to bed. So consider yourself lucky coz I'm updating for you guys. -Awww.- Haha. =p

Here's the lowdown on what happened today:
-Aircon is still busted. Mrs. Indiongco and Mrs. Morales lectured us -again- on how much we're being irresponsible and shit like that. Tss. Why can't they just fix the goddamn aircon?! DUH. That way, wala ng lectures and shit. Like hello, ang mahal mahal ng tuition fee namin tapos nag-iinarte sila. Suss.
-My monologue sucked. Haha. Coz I winged it. Grawr. I hate it. Haha. But, I think I have a good score anyway coz I sorta acted it out well. Haha.
-We had to practice our dance for the prom 2 times today. One on the morning, and one on the afternoon. It was fun. Since they changed the steps, it became waaaaaaay easier. Hahah. But damn, dancing with heels? That's crap. Seriously. Ang sakit ng paa ko! Haha. I'm not used to it. Grawr. Tapos sumasakit pa naman ung sprain ko. Kaya I can't put too much pressure on my right ankle so medyo nahirapan akong sumayaw kanina. Haha. It sucks.

I hope Alva's operation goes/went well. Aww, I'm so gonna miss him tomorrow. I won't have a seatmate. I'm gonna have an empty chair beside me. Awww. I'm gonna be so lonely during class hours. How sucky. *Pout*

vicious much? haha.

2006-01-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

It's funny how they think that I don't know anything when in fact I know everything. Hahahaha. It's funny how they think that I'm oblivious to their secret when I already know what it is. Hahaha. It's funny how they think I'll never find out when I already found out about it. Hahaha. So seriously, it's really no use trying to keep it a secret. Coz you know what? I fucking know everything. I don't give up unless I have all the answers I need. I don't give up unless everything is clear to me. So yeah, you guys are busted already. Pfft. Seriously, did you guys honestly think that you could get away with this? Hahaha. That is so fucking pathetic. You guys just make me laugh. I pity all of you. Trying to keep it a secret from me, trying soooo hard to cover everything up with pretty lies, yet failing miserably. Remember this, I will always win in the end. Hahahaha.

Hmm, moving on. I'm so effing cramming for my mono tomorrow! I don't have a script and I don't even have a costume! Ergh! I'm so not in the mood for any stupid monologue crap shit whatever. Hahaha. I guess I'm just gonna wing it. As for my costume, I seriously have no idea how my costume will just magically appear in front of me. Hahaha. I won't say what my role is. Hahaha. It's like so not the opposite of me. Stupid much. Hahaha. Oh well. Only I know what my opposite is. Nyahaha. =p

Ima share a few lines from Alva's latest poem coz it's really cool and I love it so fucking much and I can so fucking relate to it. Hahaha. Besides, I have his permission anyway so in your face! HAH!

"People like me, who have loved you
And just can’t seem to comprehend…
The excruciating pain being taken
By their hearts veiled in ashes and sand

Take mine, for example…
One that stared its own agony in the eye
Stood through the long stretch of pain
And watched all hope of love say goodbye…

Teardrops of its own scarlet blood
Spilled as it watched you depart…
A single driblet of crimson red
That spread a ripple to every single part…

And as time flew to the skies,
This heart soon dilapidated…
Eventually to be concealed in a grave
Whose tombstone utterly stated…
“Here lies the young heart of a ~~boy~~girl who loved too much…
A ~~boy~~girl who gave ~~his~~her heart away
But was replied with rejection and such…”

So as you can see…
This is what my heart is feeling…
Wouldn’t you haunt your own grave
If the coffin wall was your soul’s ceiling?"

Isn't it amazing? See how poetic Alva can get. Haha. I sooo adore his writing skills. Idol! Haha. So yeah, gotta end this now. Still have to think what to wear tomorrow for that stupid monologue shit. Hahaha. Grawr. I hate monologue! XD

P.S. DO NOT STEAL ALVA'S POEM. EVEN IF IT'S JUST A FEW LINES. OR ELSE, I'M GONNA FUCKING SLASH OFF YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF OF YOUR FUCKING BODY AND FUCKING CASTRATE YOU AND LET RATS EAT YOU WHILST YOU BURN IN HELL. GOT IT? GOOD.

i'll keep you my dirty little secret. haha.

2006-01-17T21:08:00.000+08:00

Baptist na ko! Wohoo! Hahaha. Ang sayaaaaa! I don't have to attend any more stupid masses sa school. Hahaha. Wala naman kasing kwenta yung mga masses sa school eh. Hahah. Soooo mean. >_< Hahaha. Oh well.

Hmmm. Ang saya ng araw ko ha. Ang dami kong nalaman. Hahahaha. Haaay. Dami talagang bitches, backstabbers, cheaters at liars sa school. Mga punyeta sila. I hope they burn. I sooooo hope they burn. Tangina. Mawala na sana kayo sa buhay ko. Punyeta niyo. I fucking hate them sooooooooo much.

Anyways, I do not want to waste any more precious blog space for those assholes so moving on. Haha. Nauwi ko vest ni Alva! Hahaha! Wala lang. Basta, it was a fun day today. Hihi.

Hmm. I hate backstabbers. I hate cheaters. I hate liars. I hate him. I hate her. I hate them. Oh and did I say that I hate them sooo fucking much?

susss. haha.

2006-01-16T20:28:00.000+08:00

Ang sama talaga ng January sakin. Ewan ko kung bakit. Tangina. Nakakabadtrip sobra.

Lalo na pag nasa school ako. Tangina. Ang hirap i-fake ung happiness ko. Ang hirap i-fake ung mga smiles, laughter, and shit like that. Ang hirap i-fake na masaya ako. Suss. Ayoko naman kasi ipakita na sobrang apektado ako sa nangyari samin. Ewan ko ba. Ang weirdo ko. Kasi feeling ko, pag pinakita ko kung gaano ako kaapektado, isipin nila na ang hina ko naman. Nyeta. Eh ano bang pake ko kung anong iisipin nila? EWAN KO. Taena. Di ko na nga alam kung anong iisipin ko eh. Pakshet na buhay toh. Haha.

Minsan mapapansin ko nalang na nakatulala lang pala ako at iniisip ko lang ung past few months. Ampotah naman kasi eh. Bakit pa kasi kailangan mangyari un? Masaya na ko nun eh. Maayos na ang lahat nun eh. Pucha. Bakit kung kailan masaya na ko, dun pa magkakagulo ang lahat? Potah. Masama bang maging masaya ako? Ayaw niyo bang nakikita akong masaya? Tangina.

It fucking hurts. Parang bawat araw, dumadagdag ung mga problema ko. One by one, they're all piling up on me. And when it has reached its pinnacle, it's all going to fall down on me. And I'm gonna have another fucking breakdown. Leche. Sawang-sawa na ko sa buhay na toh. Ang sarap siguro magpakamatay. Haha. Oh well. Why am I even thinking of suicide if I'm already slowly dying..? Sheesh. Ayoko na. Haha.

Haaaaaay naku. Ang daming pait sa aking saloobin kaso lang wala akong matakbuhan. Wala akong masabihan ng aking mga hinanakit. Tangina, wala naman talaga kasing nakakaintindi kung gaano kasakit toh sakin.

Tangina. Binigay ko sayo ang lahat. Ginawa ko lahat para sayo. Minahal kita. Hanggang ngayon, mahal na mahal parin kita. Sobra sobra pa nga eh. Pero may pake ka ba? Wala. Haaay naku. Ang manhid mo. Di mo man lang alam kung gaano kasakit toh sakin.

~~And I hate you because you're happy and I'm not~~. LOLX. XD

more quotes. =)

2006-01-14T15:18:00.000+08:00

Since this morning, I've been downloading songs. Haha. Songs galore! Amaaazing. I lurve LimeWire! Haha. Erkaay, well, more quotes for you my lovely darlings. <33333333

-START-
i can't believe you had the nerve to say the things you said, they hurt so bad that they ended our relationship.

the truth is i HAVE NEVER FALLEN SO HARD iN MY LiFE.

one mistake can cost you someone who you wanted to be there your whole life. -->so very true. haha. *tear*

i sometimes feel a little jealous inside..imagining someone could please you more than me. i guess it's my insecurity acting up a bit because i know i'm not the most beautiful, the smartest, or even the most exciting person you'll ever meet.. but i do know that no matter how hard and long you search, you will never find a girl who will try as hard for you as i do.

i hope somehow i have made your life special.

do you miss him at the happy and fulfilling times in your life or just when you're alone? because you'll miss anyone when you're lonely, it doesn't mean you're still in love with him.

im mad at myself, not you. im mad for always being nice, always apologizing for things i didnt do, for getting attached, for making you my life, depending on you, wasting my time on you, thinking about you, changing for you, forgiving you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, and most of all, for not hating you when i know i should but i cant.

real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself.

[[caring]] for someone is NEVER a misTaKe.

i hate myself for losing you. -->sorta what i'm feeling right now. haha.

it's amazing how you broke my heart, yet i still love you with every broken piece.

now i'm sitting face to face with loneliness. what did i expect, did i see forever in you? i never wanted it to hurt more than it should. i hope you're satisfied.. i never could.

i remember when i was happy. how good it felt to smile, how easy it was to laugh. what happened?! cos now all i do is fake the happiness, fake those pretty smiles and dream that things would go back to when i didnt hurt.

and i know how it feels to cry myself to sleep.

as for now, we're gonna hear the saddest songs, and sit alone and wonder..

how do you cry when every tear you shed won't ever bring him back again?

i guess to some extent, you get used to being alone.... you get used to not expecting phone calls and having nothing to do at night. you don't expect to turn around to open arms any longer. the small sounds of him have been replaced by silence. your thoughts echo through your head with no one to share them with. all in all, being alone isn't terrible..it just hurts like hell.

i miss the days you kissed me and the feelings we used to show, but most of all i miss the guy i used to know. im searchin for the one that i can hold, i'm reaching for the arms that let me know.

i stare at you without you knowing but deep inside i hope it's showing.

i think sometimes you have to lose someone completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you.

i thought i knew you.. but then everything changed..

i wanted everything to stay the same, but your feelings faded...yet mine never changed.

i'm trying really hard not to cry over you because every tear is just one more reminder that i don't know how to let you go.

its funny how you could get hurt so bad from the person you least expected it from.

it's not that i miss the friendship.. it's that i miss who i thought you were.

it's one of those days where i feel like crying & i do but no tears are falling from my eyes because my heart is the one that's crying & that is so much worse.

it's hard to stand tall when you just want to give in. it's hard to stand tall when you just want to crumble to the floor and weep for all that you've lost, for all that you wish you had.

no one sees my silent tears, no one hears my secret fears. i cry alone and nobody hears.

take one last look at what you see,
before we say goodbye
take one last look at my smiling face
before i start to cry
say one last thing with your sweet voice
to make me feel reassured
give me one last hug
and tell me that you still care
give me one last kiss
to show me why the world is so unfair
hold me just one last time
to forget the pain that ive known
hold me please just one last time
before you let me go.
-END-

I love these quotes. They make me so teary eyed. Haha. Oh well. I'll post some more maybe later..? Hihi. MAYBE. =)

quotes!

2006-01-14T11:44:00.000+08:00

Since I'm so effing bored, quotes galore! Hehehe. Yeah. La lang. Nakakarelate kasi ako sa mga quotes na ito. Hehe. They're from a friend of mine, Geri. =)

-START-
its crazy when you think you actually mean something to someone and then they just turn around & prove you wrong.

love is just a chapter in a guys life but for a girl it's the whole fucking book.

i bite my tongue everytime you come around because [blood in my mouth] beats [tears on the ground].

there is always gonna be that awkward moment, when you walk by that person, and remember all that you once had.

my soul is empty now; it's a dark abyss. no heart, no feeling, no light. you asked me, "how did you become so cold?" I answered, "I loved you.".

I miss the days you held me..and the days I heard your voice. I miss the days you were here. Us falling apart wasnt my choice...

"all you need is love" is a lie cause we had love but we still said goodbye.

i began to wonder if it would be easier with you gone from my life. then Irealized that i never wanted to know if that was true... but now i don't have to wonder anymore and i hate it.

it's easier saying that i don't love him anymore..than trying to explain why i [still] do.

tell him i don`t like him. tell him i don`t love him. tell him i don`t miss him. but most of all... don`t tell him i said this with tears in my eyes ..

The only thing that hurts more than a broken heart is knowing if you had the chance to do it all over again and suffer the same... you would.

...if i could show you how much you hurt me, you would never be able to look me in the eyes ever again.

i just figured if my heart stopped beating, it wouldnt hurt as much.

i just want one guy to prove to me that they all arent the same.

i'll never forget what you did to me..but i'll never let you know i remember.

it finally hit me that you didn't care, when you walked away and never looked back.

you have walked away from the one person who never left your side.

you know you really love someone when you dont hate them for breaking your heart.

they ignore each other and look the other way, but they both know deep down inside, that it wasnt supposed to end this way.

its almost completely impossible to find a guy who will never hurt you...so go for the guy who will make the pain worthwhile.

some day you'll cry for me like i cried for you. some day you'll miss me like i missed you. some day you'll need me like i needed you. some day you'll love me, but i wont love you.

you never know you love someone til they're gone, well... I am +G O N E+, do you love me?

you know it's love when all you want is for that one person to be happy,.,., even if you're not a part of their happiness.

no matter what i do there is always going to be something that reminds me of him. a song, a smell, a place, a person, a noise, a smile, a touch... they will always remind me of him. so is it really worth all my energy to try to get over him when deep down i know i never really will?

im sorry i ever fell for you & im sorry that you lied. tell me that you really did love me or at least that you tried.

if i were to tell you i love you.. how would you respond?

everyone is always telling me to just get over *him* and move on; obviously they just don't understand just how hard i've already tried.

and i LOVED you, with all my heart. i fought for you, i treasured you... i went to hell and back for you... and i am still sitting here, lonely and afraid... without the ONLY ONE THAT EVER MATTERED.

always tell the person you love that you love them because you never know when it will be your last chance.

it's easy to fall in love, but hard to find someone to catch you.

just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they've got. -->tama yan! haha.

the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them.

it's not telling you how i feel that scares me, it's what you'll say back that does.

you gave me a part of myself that i never knew i had... you showed me a place inside myself that i never even would have guessed existed. i spent almost years trying to find what you did. years! and you found it in a matter of minutes. and now, i ask, "why can't you see how much you are breaking my heart"?

i am sitting here. a world apart from the place that you are. i have a broken heart, and tears sliding endlessly down my cheeks. you smile and laugh and you pretend "we" never existed, but we both know what i meant to you... almost as much as you meant to me...

the stars above remind me of the night when the sky fell...cos thats the night i fell in love...

you'll never know how much i miss you - you won't see it in my face or hear it in my voice... i might always love you, but you're just never gonna know.

you used to be my reason for waking up, now you're the reason i want to stay in bed.

i wish i could have saved all the tears that you made me cry so i can fucking drown you in them.

just because something ends, doesnt mean it never should have been.

a thousand words couldn't bring you back ..i know because i've tried, neither could a thousand tears ..i know because i've cried. you left behind a broken heart ..and happy memories too. but i never wanted memories ..i only wanted you.

don't miss anyone from your past... there has to be a good reason why they didn't make it to your future.

for once, instead of tellin me reasons why i shouldn't cry, actually pay attention to the reasons why i am.

now i'll write i love you down the same number of times you said it to me, & i'll shove all the pages down your throat so you can use them on the next girl who thinks she`s your entire world.

iT CRUSHES MY HEART WHEN Y0U CALL ME Y0UR 'FRiEND'.

someday you'll be sorry, someday when you're free. memories will remind you that we were meant to be.

if i give you space, will we go back to normal? if i pretend i don't love you, will you laugh with me again? if i don't speak up, will you finally talk back? i'm willing to do whatever it takes...to make it all okay.

i know i have a heart, cause i can feel it breaking.

somebody tell my head to try to tell my heart, that i'm better off without you.

things will get better. i wont always be sad. its not like you're my world. you're just all i had.

i know that things aren't the same. that doesnt mean that i don't wish they were.

& maybe she's a little scared to get close to anyone because everyone whoever said "i'll always be there "...left.

am i mad at you? that's your main concern after shattering my whole world? mad for what? for breaking my heart? all the lies? maybe for letting me put all my trust in you.. only to betray the decency to tell me to my face? how about the fact that you didn't even care. the way you think it's crazy that i'm crying over it... cause you think breaking up is no big deal? am i mad? no. more like crushed.

sometime when you least expect it love will tap you on the shoulder & ask you to move out of the way because it still isn't your turn.

but what's the point when my dreams are infected with words you used to say? ((Spill Canvas- All Hail The HeartBreaker))

my heart is broken, and i've run out of glue.

it doesn't feel right holding someone else's hand.
-END-
Haha. Hope you liked 'em. I'm gonna post some more after I eat lunch. Maybe. Hihi.

Matamaan ang matamaan. HAHAHA. =))

chocolates are yummay. =P~

2006-01-13T20:10:00.000+08:00

Chocolate is my best friend whenever I'm depressed. XD Oh well. We have tons of chocolates here to last me throughout this "phase". Yes, this depression shit is just a phase. I'm gonna get through this. By the way, ever since I started becoming depressed, I started cursing a lot again. Wohoo. Haha. I missed my excessive cursing. XD

I've accepted the fact that there's no more us. No more Kimi and Josh. No more relationship whatsoever. But, I still can't believe that this happened. I still can't believe that he was the first one to give up. Naaalala mo ba nung tinanong ko sayo, kung mawala ako, kawalan ba ko sayo? Natatandaan mo ba kung ano sinagot mo? "Syempre naman. Tinatanong pa ba yun?" SUS. Kung kawalan pala ako, BAKIT MO KO PINAKAWALAN?! DIBA?! SUSSSSSSSS.

Natatandaan ko tuloy yung GM ni Ayeth dati, "Ayoko sana, na ikaw ay mawawala, mawawasak lamang ang aking mundo.. Ngunit anong magagawa, kung talagang ayaw mo na.. SINO BA NAMAN AKO PARA PIGILIN KA?" Ampf. Sobrang nakakarelate ako. Haha.

Sabi ni Pada misunderstanding lang daw toh. Kaya pa daw namin toh ayusin. Pero, wala na talaga. Wala na talaga akong magagawa. Ayaw na niya eh. Hayaan ko nalang.

Anyways, moving on. It's Friday the 13th today! Usually, I'd be lucky when it's Friday the 13th, but today, I wasn't. I wonder why. But hey, I passed a lot of long tests today. I got a 91% in Law On Persons, 90% in Logic, 33/60 in Geometry -Lolx, pasang awa. Haha. Pero at least, pasado! Haha.-, and I got a 42/60 ata yun sa Filipino. Nyarx. Ang baba ng long tests ko sa Geom at Fil. Oh well. Bawi nalang ako ng todo sa exams. Hihi.

Oh yeah, because of my depression and shit, I'm like so fucking inspired right now. I love it so fucking much! I swear I fucking missed being inspired. Haha. Weird, kung kelan depressed ako and shit, dun pa ko nainspired. Haha. Oh well. Thank you nalang. Haha. Kasi kung hindi dahil sayo, hindi ako depressed. Kung hindi ako depressed, hindi ako inspired! Haha.

See, I'm ~~not~~ bitter about how the way things ended. HAHA. XD

ouch. >_<

2006-01-12T20:41:00.000+08:00

BREAK NA KAMI.

Since January 11, 2006. Yesterday. Grabe, ang galing noh? I bet you weren't expecting that. I wasn't. Breaking up was the last thing that I would ever think of. Grabe, ganun na lang ba yun? Tatakbuhan mo ang problema? Di mo siya haharapin at susubukan man lang ayusin? God. Nakakaasar. Tama si Mac, "Breaking up isn't always the answer." Pero, wala na kong magagawa. Nangyari na ang hindi dapat nangyari.

Tae. Ang hirap. Ang sakit sa puso. Ang hirap pigilin ang luha ko. Haha. Sumasakit tuloy throat ko. Ampf. Haha.

It's hard being "just" friends when I know that I still love you. Pero, mahal mo parin ba kaya ako? Ang sakit isipin na hindi mo na ko mahal. *Tear*

happy 6th monthsary, my love.

2006-01-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

Happy Monthsary...?

Sheesh, I'm so not happy. I'm so far from being happy. Happiness is the last thing that I would ever feel today, tomorrow, and probably the next day. Hanggat di tayo magkakaayos, wala akong mararamdaman na kasiyahan.

Because of you, I cried til I can no longer shed any tears. Because of you, I haven't felt this kind of sadness since he broke my heart. Because of you, I don't know what to do. Because of you, the past days were spent in misery. Because of you, I haven't been myself. Because of you, I couldn't put on a real smile, or laugh, or even try to be happy. Because of you, I walk around this Earth with a frown on my face and a weary heart. Because of you, I slashed myself. Again.

Tangina. Tangina. Tangina. Tangina talaga.

But I don't blame you for acting this way. I don't blame you for what's been happening to us lately. All of it is my fault anyways. Oo, inaamin ko. Nung Friday pa, inamin ko na diba? But why do you have to continue acting that way? I know I hurt you badly but can't you see how much I'm regretting it? I told you time and time again that I'm sorry. But you're still acting that way. Fine, have it your way. My friends tell me to just let you cool down for awhile. Leave you be. Sige, bahala ka. Basta ako, nag sorry na ko. Sinabi ko na lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. Sana nga lang, you'll make the right decision.

Sabi ni Luigi, "Think of the happier days." But how can I even think of the happier days if I feel like I'm losing my reason for happiness?

But still, Happy 6th Monthsary. I love you so much. More than anyone will ever know. More than my life. I hope we get through this. I know we can get through this.

jabiness. haha.

2006-01-05T22:35:00.000+08:00

Ergh. Stupid Friendster. I was going to post this uber drama shit that I wrote and then, it all disappeared. "You are forbidden to view this page blah blah". Fuck you. Shit, one uber drama rant down the drain. Sheesh. Minsan na nga lang ako tinatamaan ng inspirasyon, nawala pa. Nyeta. Grawr.

Anyways, today was a really bad day for me. Walang nagbago sa sitwasyon namin. Ganun parin kami. ~~Oo na, inaamin ko, takot ako. Takot ako kasi hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko sayo.~~ Haaay, juskupo. Kailan ba matatapos ang drama sa buhay ko?

We had the OLSAT today. The Mathematics part sucked so effing much. The Vocab and Reading Comprehension were a piece of cake. Haha. So bragging. Anyways, the Math part sucked coz all of the questions were tricky and confusing. And besides, we were not given enough time. So I had to rush and shit. It sucked. Haha. When we were about to start the Math part, nakita ko si Josh dumaan sa may bintana. Napatigil ako for 10 minutes. Pinipigil ko kasi luha ko. Hahah. Ewan. Bigla nalang ako napaluha nung nakita ko siya. Para kasing ang layo na niya sakin. Shit, nagsisimula nanaman ako mag drama. Haha. Tigil na Kimi! Kulet, ampf. Haha.

Oh yeah! I went to Jollibee with Seanny and Alva today. It was fun. At least I got to eat today. Even though it was like mga quarter to 6 na ko nakakain. Haha. That was like my only meal for the day. I haven't eaten dinner yet. I don't plan to. Haha. I call Seanny "my love" and Alva "love". Haha. It's so weird. Wala lang. Trip ko lang. Heheh.

Hmm, this evening, me and Luigi had this long talk. I missed that. I missed our long conversations over the phone. Coz we always end up talking about stupid shit. Haha. Oh well. But we had a serious talk first. About me and Joshy. And shit like that. Oh well.

I'm so depressed. I haven't been me lately. It sucks. I want a Mocha Frap now.

sucky day.

2006-01-04T20:29:00.000+08:00

This day sucks so effing much. I hate it sooooo much. First day of classes for the year 2006 tapos badtrip agad ako. Nampucha. Tangina talaga.

Haaay, bakit ko pa kasi kailangan mag drama eh?! Tangina. You brought this upon yourself Kimi. Wag mo siyang sisihin. Sisihin mo sarili mo. Pero I couldn't help it. I was acting based on how I was feeling. And during that time, I was feeling really sad and angry. I just couldn't help it. That's how I am. I'm a drama queen, and I know that. Pero, sheesh, diba niya kayang mag tiyaga? Kahit onti lang? Fuck naman.

Anyways, for the better part of this day, Alva and Sean made me laugh so much today. It was so fun! I didn't really realize how much I missed those two until we started hanging out again during class hours. That was so fun. Heheh.

Hmm, today, I was so not me. I mean, my body was there but my mind was somewhere else. I did not listen to any lessons, I failed everything today, and I was just so pathetic. It sucks so much.

Oh yeah, I wrote at Luigi's journal today. It was so amazing. I wrote down what I was really feeling and my personal problems and shit like that and it felt so good afterwards coz it seriously felt like a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders.

I'm so not in the mood to blog. I'm only blogging for Marco's sake since he wanted me to. Haha. So yeah. I have to stop now. Kasi bumabalik lang saken ung mga nangyari ngayong araw. Nababadtrip nanaman ako. Suuuuussss....

happy new year? i hope so.

2006-01-01T17:46:00.000+08:00

Erkay, so I'm sitting down here, in this "fancy" hotel, and pinagchachagaan ko lang ang Internet nila since I'm dying out of boredom here. No one is really online which sucks kasi kung kelan nag online ako, dun walang tao. Hahaha. Shit! Am I like cursed or something? It's bad enough that I'm gonna stay here -in Baguio- until Tuesday. Sheesh. People, please be online for the whole day. Hahah.

This is the only time that I'm going to be online tonight since the guests only have one hour of Internet access per day. Sheesh. One hour lang? Kulang yun saken! Hahaha. One hour is like 30 minutes for me. Hahaha. Hmmm, he's online but he's on SMS. Lolx. Whatever that means. Hahah.

Gosh, tanging kaligayahan ko lang dito ang Mocha Frap. Hahaha. Nababaliw na ko. Too much Mocha goodness. Mwehehe. It's a good thing they have Starbucks here. Or else, I'll seriously go nuts. Haha.

Earlier, I was so... Err... What's the word? Hmm. Can't find the right word to describe what I was feeling earlier when I ran out of battery on my cellphone. Haha. Afraid? Nah. Shocked? Sorta, but no. Hmm, I guess it was an unexplainable feeling. Nyahaha. Oh yeah. We talked. Well not really talked. We were texting each other. Amaazing. I was so content. Blahblah. Haha. But I had to cut it short -like really short- since I didn't have any battery left. Stupid cellphone. Stupid me because I didn't bring any charger. Stupid familia coz they didn't tell me that we were going to stay here til Tuesday. Hmph. Hahah. So weird.

When we went to Camp John Hay this afternoon, I saw A LOT of cute guys. Potential crushness. Pero wala eh. My mind drifted off to Josh. Haha. Sobra ko na kasi siyang miss eh. Haaay. So yeah. Even though there were a lot of cute guys, deadma to the max lang ako sa kanila. Haha. Besides, there's no social life here. Gosh. It's so fucking boring here. Haha.

Oooooh, weeee! We're chatting. Now. Like, right at this moment. Haha.

Erkay, gotta go. I'll try to post again some other day. Damn, I miss Manila so much. Haha. Never in a million years would I ever think that I'd say that. Nyahaha.

freeze. and rewind.

2005-12-31T13:18:00.000+08:00

We're going to Baguio.... TODAY!

Like, shocking much! Hahah. I thought we were going to Baguio on January 2 since that's what I heard. Lolx. This sucks. Haha. I'm not gonna celebrate my New Year here! Awwww. I'm not gonna be able to call people and greet them "Happy New Year". This sucks so effing much.

Yeah. We're going to Baguio at 3pm. Shucks. Onti nalang oras ko. Haaaay. That's why I'm greeting everyone a Happy New Year na. Coz I'm definitely not gonna be OL later. Waaaaaa. Di na nga ako OL nung Christmas, pati New Year pa! Alangya. Hahaha.

I'm worried. Baka di ko makausap si Kuya Rye. Tsk tsk. Baka mamaya isipin niya sinasadya ko na di mag OL. Haha. Oh well, I'll just leave him a message sa YM.

Anyways, I have to go. I still have to get ready and shit. And my mum is making me hurry. Hahaha. Excited much? Lolx. Anyways..

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYWUN. I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL. MWAH.

Ingatz sa paputok. Have a safe and fun New Year everyone. Hope I have fun sa Baguio. *Fingers crossed*

at sa muli'y magbabalik sakin ang lahat.

2005-12-30T21:00:00.000+08:00

"Matatanggap ba ako kung magbabalik sa iyo? Sakit ng sinapit ay please wag ng magtampo. Wala man akong nagawa nung unang ika'y nawala. Wala sa hinagap na ako'y mabibigo. Wala sa hinagap na ako'y mabibigo." Shucks. That song is frickin stuck in my head, again! For the nth time this week. And the fact that that song is on repeat doesn't really help. Haha. I don't know why. Whenever I hear this song, I can't help but think of the past. It reminds me of him. It reminds me of what we used to have. Haaaay...

Anyways, I haven't heard from Josh for almost 2 days. Yet. That is. Hehe. Err, I don't really mind. Yes, I don't mind. Right, Kimi? You don't mind. Hahaha. I'm starting to sound like some paranoid freak of nature. Hahaha. No, but seriously, I don't mind. I'm getting quite used to it.

I don't wanna talk to Kevin for awhile. I'm sorta pissed at him. Nalaman lang niya na umiinom ako, nagbago na tingin niya saken. Ano ba yan. Wala akong pakeh! Hahah. Oh well. Tapos sasabihin niya di raw nagbago tingin niya saken samantalang iniiwasan niya ko. Haay naku. Bahala siya. Problema na niya yun. Kung di niya matanggap na umiinom ako, edi wag. Di ko naman siya pipilitin eh. Pfft. *rolls eyes*

I think on January 2-3, I'm going to be at Baguio with the whole familia. Funness. Not. Haha. That trip, for sure, is going to be a disaster. For me, that is. Oh well. I'll try to be optimistic. I'll try to have fun. Emphasis on the try. Heheh.

Ako nalang laging pinagdidiskitahan ng nanay ko. Ewan ko ba kung anong problema niya. Sus. Nilalabas galit niya saken. Nampucha. Pag ako napuno sa kanya, naku. Haha. Baka maglayas ako! Hahaha. Ang daya naman kasi eh. Wala naman akong ginagawa. Tahimik lang ako sa isang sulok. Bigla nalang ako pagagalitan. Lagi nalang daw ako nasa harapan ng computer ekek. Eh pakelam ba niya? Nasa break ako tapos pagbabawalan ako sa computer? Ang daya naman nun. Samantalang pag may pasukan, minsan nalang ako sa computer. Naku, naaasar na ko sa kanya.

I feel like I'm going to be sick. I have the sniffles, my throat hurts, my temperature is sorta hot, my eyes are teary and I feel like shit. I don't wanna get sick. I'm not in the mood to get sick! Hahaha. I drink a lot of water so why am I getting sick? Waaaaaaaa. Hahahah. I sound so stupid. Hahahaha.

Classes resume on January 4. Shucks. So near. Just a few more days and I'm going to see that old school again. Just a few more days and I'm going to be with my friends again, see my teachers and hear their boring lessons, and probably fall asleep during History or Chemistry. Hahahaha. Aww, I remember the time that both me and Alva sorta drifted off to sleep during History then Mrs. Cereno called our attention "Ms. German, Mr. Alvarez, do you think that my class is boring? Try being me who has a class from morning till noon." Something like that. Haha. I was so embarassed. Haha. Oh well. That's high school for you. Haha.

Current LSS - Lunes by Join The Club.

emo much?

2005-12-29T21:00:00.000+08:00

Today must have been one of my most horrible days. EVER! God, I cannot begin to explain how much this day has been horrible to me. I seriously feel like crying right now. Kung hindi lang dahil kay Kuya Rye, I swear may ginawa na kong napakatanga. Tangina naman kasi eh. Kung ano ano pa kasi nabasa ko eh. Nampucha.

Tumawag si Jamang. Pahkshet naman un eh. Kung ano ano pinagsasabi saken. Alanghiya. "Hinahanap ka ni Kenneth. Miss ka na." Pucha. Ano un? His way of getting back to me because of the things that I told him? That is so low. I would have cursed him if only I didn't have any self-control.

I think Sean is mad at me since I didn't reply to one of his texts. Is it my fault that my cellphone was turned off at that time and that Sun was fucking delayed? God, I wanted to scream at him but I didn't reply back. With this kind of mood, I might not be able to control my words and actions.

On the brighter side of this day -if there was-, Ayeth called me. Haha. Yes, it was quite shocking. Since Ayeth and I don't really converse at school or chat with each other that much, it was a bit unusual. Hehe. But I enjoyed our little talk. It was fun. I have to say, Ayeth is a really nice girl. Our little talk lifted my spirits for a moment. I appreciated that.

Tangina miss na miss na kita. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit kita pinakawalan. Ikaw lang ang minahal ko ng sobra sobra at nagsisisi ako. Alam ko na minahal mo ren ako sa abot ng kaya mo at alam ko na napakatanga ko kasi nagpadala ako sa emosyon ko noon. Ngayon, heto ako, nakaupo, nagsisisi dahil wala ka na. Ngunit hindi ako nagsisisi na nakahanap ako ng iba. Na nakahanap ako ng isang lalake na mas mamahalin ko at mas mamahalin ako. Subalit bakit kailangan nating matapos ng ganito? Walang komunikasyon, walang pakiramdaman. Aaminin ko, hindi na kita mahal. Pero namimiss ko lang ang mga araw na tayo ay naguusap hanggang sa magsawa tayo. Namimiss ko lang ang mga makukulit at sweet mong texts. Namimiss ko lang ang iyong kakulitan. Namimiss lang kita.

Punyeta. Anong kadramahan iyan? Pahkshet talaga.

oh well..

2005-12-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

Ok, so here's what happened today:

I went to Jiggy's house.

That's it. Haha. I'm too lazy to go into detail. Besides, something happened that, you know, shouldn't be typed here. [Right Zha? Jiggy? Nyahahaha.]

Hmm, I'm typing differently. Dunno why. I likey it. Hehe.

Anyways, hmm. I didn't go home at exactly 5pm like I told my mum which will totally get me in trouble later. Haha. I got home after an hour and a half. Haha. I'm so dead. Oh well.

Yaaaay. Natapos na ni Kuya Rye kapain ung "You're So Last Summer" ng Taking Back Sunday. Mwahaha. Sayang he couldn't play it sa electric guitar niya since sumabog ampli niya. Haha.

I'm currently reading a book that I borrowed from Jiggy's library. It's a Sidney Sheldon book. He is a legend. I am in love with his writing. It's like the bomb! Haha.

Anyways, I'll end it here for now. I still have to listen to Kuya Rye play his awesome guitar skills. Loooolx. Haha.

i'm being honest.

2005-12-27T13:54:00.000+08:00

my life sucks. how did i come to this conclusion, you say? well, earlier i was reminiscing -well not really reminiscing but i can't find the right word- the past few days and well, i realized that the past few days were spent in misery, loneliness, fake happiness, any emotion that's negative. and it sucks when i feel so fucking negative. coz it feels like the whole world is on my shoulder and i'm so cold and bitter towards people. and i can't put on a goddamn real smile! and typing this down right now is not helping my mood at all. goddamn mood swings. i fucking hate this so much.

anyways, ergh, i have to stop dwelling on that subject. ok, so christmas. what about christmas? ok stop being negative. ergh. it's hard. anyways, christmas was, to sum it up in one word, ok. so during christmas eve we ate dinner first, then we went to church, and then we went back home and opened gifts. yeaah. that's sorta what happened. then the day itself, it was kinda fun during the afternoon. i was calling everyone up and greeting them a "happy christmakah" which is christmas and hannukah combined. haha. yeaah, it was really fun. i had fun talking to mila since we were both sorta hyper and we were just blabbing haha. and luigi called and it was funny since he was on their roof and i was like "throw something towards those people" and he was like "there's some tomatoes here" so yeah. haha. imagine the fun we had haha. i was calling this someone's house but no one was answering so fuck it. haha.

yesterday was tiring. very. we were out the whole fucking day so imagine how tired i was when we got home. haha. ok so they woke me up really early so my sleeping was cut short. that pissed me off since i didn't really get any sleep until there was like daylight so i was kinda grumpy at first. we were going to the airport to pick someone up so during the car ride i got bored and i txted everyone telling them that i was going to singapore as a joke. lolx. but no one believed me haha. unfair. and then we passed by villamor so i was like "where the hell are we going?" and my mum was like "tiendesitas." so i was like "okaaaay.." then we arrived at "tiendesitas" which looked like some kind of tiangge but it was fuckin huge! haha. i was amazed. they were selling a lot of things but i didn't really like them so i didn't buy anything. it got kinda boring so i was just txting aica who was at market market which was very near tiendesitas so i told her that baka magkita kami or something so she was like ok daw. after tiendesitas, we went to sm megamall which was packed to the core with all sorts of people. there were normal people, couples, families, gangsters, rockers, and cute people. haha. so when we arrived at mega i immediately went to tower records to buy some cd's since i had some money which my mum had for safe keeping. so i asked my mum how many cd's can i buy and she was like "just one" so i got kinda pissed since that is my money and i don't wanna buy just one effing cd so i was like "ok never mind let's go." i wanted so badly to buy:
-the infatuation is always there - typecast.
-crimson - alkaline trio.
-dramachine - sugarfree.
-IV- coheed and cambria.
-bullet in a bible dvd - greenday.
it sucks so much that i didn't get to buy them. so yeah, i was sulking. very mature of me. haha. then we went up to the electronics shit so my cousin and my lil uncle can buy games for their ps2 and xbox. pfft. since i was bored i went with them and took a look at the games that they were selling. i saw fatal frame2 so i was like "ooh this is a good game. buy it!" but my mum was like "no. it's scary. you're uncle would be scared so it's useless." but i was being stubborn so i was like "no it's not scary. it's cool. come on, buy it. pleaaase." but she still said no. bitch. HAHA. so mean of me. oh well. who cares. i don't. and some more things happened that i don't wanna share which pissed me off even more. somehow, there's still a small part of me that hates her kasi binulgar nia ko. anyways, since i was so pissed, i called sean on my cellphone and started making a scene. lolx. everyone was staring at me. it was so annoying. so i just rolled my eyes at them. pfft. btw, i bought these new earrings from chocolate -the clothing brand lolx- and they look sooo cute! haha. black wooden crosses. yep. awesomeness.

when i got home, i talked to luigi, ate dinner, then luigi called again but i cut his call short since i wanted to go online. so yeah. i went online but i think it was a mistake doing so because...just because. haha. secret ko na un. hihi. kasi nakakaasar naman eh. sawang sawa na ko sa mga ganun nia. asus. err, hopefully you guys don't have a clue of what i'm talking about or else i'll have to kill you. lolx. nah, i'm not that mean. i'm just gonna ask you to keep quiet. so yeah. then kevin called -not ker haha.- and we talked for like a long time actually. he called at 10pm and we finished at 1am. lolx. lately, he's the only guy -besides seanny- who makes me smile and laugh and feel happy. and i really am being honest.

27 ngaun nuh? hmm. condolence to xtin. ok lang yan mallowsh. hehe. dito pa naman ako eh haha. oh yeah, me and zha had this funny conversation awhile ago.

me: "so watsup?"
zha: "the cling."
me: "cling?"
zha: "c-ling."
me: "c-ling?"
me: "wtf?"
zha: "ceiling."
zha: "damn it."
me: ":))"
me: "ohhh.."
me: "=))"
zha: "damn u!"
me: "sowee"
me: "slow much"

lolx. weird. but funny. haaaay. so yeah. i need to talk to kevin. but he's busy. i need to talk to sean but i can't call him since his folks might think something's going on between the two of us. looolx. oh well.

t.g.i.f.

2005-12-23T11:14:00.000+08:00

finally it's friday. gosh, i'm so tired. so effing sleepy. but i gotta update since the past 2days have been weird. lolx.

ok so wednesday, i didn't get to go to EK since my mum said i was going home late so i got pissed off -i always go home late so wtf?!- so i just decided to play tekken5 to release my anger. i was really good though haha. i kinda played ps2 all day so yeah. haha. then during the evening, sean texted me and told me that zha was asking if she could crash here for the night -long story- so i was like sure it's ok with me but i'll ask my mum. so i called my mum and holy motherfucking shit! she actually said it was ok! so, i was a little dumbfounded and i really couldn't believe it lolx. so i told zha and yeah she was shocked haha. then she stayed here for the night blah blah and yeah. following morning, we decided to go to rob. and let me tell you, it is so NOT good to wear mini skirts when going to rob. sheesh, boys are all over you and it's not really a good feeling since most of them looked eww haha. then when me and zha were eating ice cream, these 2old men started looking at us with those "i-want-you" looks blah blah and it was so ewwy and zha suddenly shouted "pedophile!" but i don't think they understood what that meant since they were still staring haha. then we went to rich's place and crashed there. he was just playing ps2 while we were just watching. actually, zha was kinda dozing off while i was just sitting in this huge chair that they have which is so comfy and admiring the view of manila. then me and zha went down to the pool and it was kewl coz it was windy then we started throwing coins at passing cars lolx. one guy even looked up! haha. we were laughing so much. then we went home. on the way home, there were 2policemen who were talking about the gay guy that just passed by and when me and zha passed by the policeman said to his companion "yan! totoo yan!" and then my flower -which i ~~stole~~got from rich's place- suddenly fell and i screamed lolx. it was so funny and zha was just laughing at me then i started blaming her for it lolx. when we got back to my place, we started prank calling people and it was so hilarious. then we ate dinner, called josh and we started being retarded again, then she had to go home. lolx, those days were really happy. at least i wasn't bored out of my skull.

anyways, yes, zha went home and she fixed everything with her parents so yeah. hopefully, she won't pull another stunt like that. anyways, we have wireless connection now. i still don't know if it's better than DSL. oh well. i don't really care. just as long as i have unlimited internet access, i'm cool with anything. hihi.

i wanna go out today but i have no one to go out with. grawr. i'm so effing bored at home. save me from the dreariness. eep!

sniff

2005-12-20T10:30:00.000+08:00

oh great. i have the sniffles. fan-fucking-tastic. grawr. i hate it when i have the sniffles. i feel like shit. ewww. it's the worst feeling in the world, mind you. it gets so annoying. grawr. hihi. oh well.

hmm, yesterday was fun. hihi. i talked to a lot of people. and it was kewl. hihi. carla wants me to go to rob today but i don't think i can coz if i go somewhere today i might not be allowed to go to EK tomorrow. eep! hehe. oh yeah. i have a lot of new dangly earrings hihi. they're so effing cute. and i don't care if dangling earrings aren't allowed in school. like, who follows the rules anyway? lolx. last night i was watching the exorcism of emily rose and i have one word to describe that movie: FREAKY. looolx. it was quite annoying in the first part but then it kinda became freaky in the latter part. ergh. but i didn't finish it since i got sleepy. haha. and i still am. i forgot what time i slept. either it was 1am or 2am. i forgot. ergh. too sleepy to remember. hihi.

no one is online! it sucks. they're all still sleeping. pfft. pishaw. i can't disturb anyone. loolx. hmm, maybe i'll just play ps2 nalang. hihi.

drama mode.

2005-12-18T19:51:00.000+08:00

wala akong pake. magda-drama ako! haha!

SIMULA:
sapat na ba ang meron ako para manatili ka? para hindi mo ko iwan? para hindi mo ko ipagpalit sa iba? dahil ilang araw na itong nasa isip ko, na baka may mahanap kang iba na mas mamahalin mo. na mas importante sayo. na handa mo akong iwan para sa kanya. kaya maaari mo bang sabihin saken ulet kung gaano mo ko kamahal? kasi nagaalala talaga ako. dahil ilang araw ko nang iniisip na hindi pa sapat ang ginagawa ko para sayo. na hindi ko pa napapatunayan kung gaano kita kamahal at kung gaano ka kaimportante sa buhay ko. nararamdaman ko na ang binibigay ko sayo ay hindi pa sapat para manatili ka. bawat araw nagaalala ako na baka may mahanap kang iba. halos gabi gabi akong napapaiyak dahil alam kong di ko kakayanin pag iniwan mo na ko. nagiging paranoid lang ba ako? sabihin mo at titigil na ko. sabihin mong mahal mo ko at hinding hindi mo ko ipagpapalit sa kung sino at titigil na ako. pangako.
WAKAS.

shiet. ayoko nang magdrama. sawa na kong magdrama! haha. pero etoh paren ako, nagdadrama! haha. ang labo ko talaga. haaaaaaaay.....

i'm cracking.

2005-12-18T18:09:00.000+08:00

boredom. that is one word to describe how i have been feeling the whole weekend. ick. i'm disgusted by the fact that i can't even find a single thing to do. maybe there is nothing else to do but just sit and stare at the clock and wait until the xmas break ends.

i just realized something important. being away from my friends, from the hippies, and from josh, is like spending my days inside a shell waiting to be cracked open. it feels as though time has stopped and i am left waiting for all eternity. waiting for me to be with those people again. i can truly say that i find joy, happiness, peace, serenity, and contentment with those people and being away from them, makes me feel like i am being deprived of those. i'm not saying that i don't like these kind of breaks because believe me i do, but you know, living your whole life surrounded by those people, you get used to it. and as soon as that gets taken away from you, you don't know what to do. you feel alone. you feel like there's nothing else to do. you feel so... so empty. and that is exactly what i'm feeling right now. it's a different feeling to be actually be with them than to be talking to them on the phone or chatting with them or texting them. it's a whole lot different because you can't feel that presence that makes you feel safe and happy. i fear that i'm not making any sense so i'm going to stop now.

ok, now never mind that whole thing. that was just, you know, some stupid essay that i needed to write to let my emotions out. hihi. so in short, i just miss everyone. eeeeek! it's gonna be a long time til i see those people again. oh wait, not really. i forgot. haha. meron nga pala kaming gimik. haha. pero di naman kumpleto. as if the whole 3b would be there. pishaw. pfft. haha.

EK SA 21!! SAMA KAYO!! HAHA.

if you're interested, kausapen niu si jase or si kim. sila may plano nian eh. hihi. wow. talagang kelangan i-advertise pa eh. haha. para masaya pag marami. hihi. i haven't asked permission yet but i will....later.....or.....tomorrow.... LOOOOLX. XD basta i'm gonna ask permission before 21. tapos sa 20 nagpaalam. HAHA. shiet. iono. i have a strong feeling that my mum won't allow me. so unfair. pffft. i'm sure her reason -as always- will be: "it's not safe." as if it's safe anywhere in this year already. DUH. pishaw. ok, gotta stop. i'm getting pissed again. haha.

hmm, tawag daw si josh mamaya pag uwi niya. i doubt it. iono. i'm so pessimistic. hihi. oh well. "i sit on my bed alone, staring at the phone". LOOOOLX.

I MISS YOU NA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hihi.

my misadventures. lolx.

2005-12-17T13:03:00.000+08:00

i was supposed to post this last night but my internet got cut off so yeah. this is quite long so bear with me.

dec.16,2005 [yesterday.]
the xmas party was fun. it was kewl. there were alot of students who didn't follow the dress code. of course, i was one of them. haha. i was wearing a denim mini skirt -which was totally cute- and the purple shirt that jase bought for me with my black hoodie and chucks. wearing rubber shoes weren't allowed but i didn't care. haha. so yeah. when i got to school i was really happy and cheerful. zha looked hot with her corset. so i kinda wondered why i didn't wear my corset. hmm, doesn't matter. i still looked cute. haha. anyways, i was with josh when zha approached us and had a little convo -conversation-:

zha: "kimi, are you going to glorietta?"
me: "definitely. are you?"
zha: "yeah. what about you josh?"
-i looked at him with hopeful eyes and...-
josh: "no. i wasn't allowed."
zha: "ok.."
-devastated much? very.-

so yeah, i was very devastated. i was really hoping he would come but sometimes hoping isn't enough. so that put me in a bad mood. i suddenly fell quiet and i didn't talk at all. josh noticed this so he asked me if i was alright but i just rolled my eyes and went inside the classroom. pfft. drama much? very. i was really pissed and depressed and sad and i was just crushed. so zha kinda talked to me and..

zha: "kimi, are you alright?"
me: "no...isn't it obvious?"
zha: "come on..you know josh would have come if he was allowed.."
me: "pfft.."
zha: "don't ruin your day because of this.."
me: "too late. it already is.."
-then i stood up and looked at her and said..-
me: "you know why i was happy when i got to school? coz i was hoping that he would come with us later. i was really expecting him to come and this just really pissed me off so much."

so yeah, shallow much? very. i duno. i was just really hoping he would come. so yeah. after that i talked to sean about that and yeah that kinda helped. when the party started, my mind forgot about that so i suddenly became happy. i was in one of the games, safety pin something haha. so i was partners with alva and i was supposed to find 10safety pins on his clothes while blindfolded. i don't like being blindfolded. i don't like not seeing anything. it scares me. we didn't win though but it was fun. alva's reactions were so funny when i was looking for the pins haha. then we ate, exchanging of gifts, then cleaning up. after that, hippie circle wherein we exchanged gifts and yah. josh gave me a paramita cd -which i have wanted for so long- so i was really really happy and i squealed in delight haha. i'm not telling you what i gave him since it was a sucky gift hehe. then we stayed for like 2hrs in the school. before going to glorietta, i opened my gifts and i was so happy when i received the spongebob stuffed toy that i wanted from seanny and alva. so i was happy. then me, zha, jiggy, rich and dale left for glorietta. i was really sad during the ride to glorietta coz i couldn't help but think about josh and how much i'm gonna miss him.

gloriettaness! it was fun. it really put me in a good mood. but it killed my feet! haha. so when we got to glorietta, dale kinda drifted off with another group so yeah. it was kinda fun since there were alot of cute guys eyeing me. haha. i'm not bragging or anything though. i'm just saying. haha. since i was wearing a skirt, they would look at my face then to my legs then up to my face again. annoying much? very. then me and zha and jiggy was in a hyper mood so we were just tripping. we were mucking around the mall while zha would be videotaping us on her cellphone. haha. there was this moment where me and jiggy were dancing tango in front of the starbucks in g4. lolx. and there was also this one moment where i was walking while holding my spongebob -or spongey as i have named him- then jiggy ran up to me and stole spongey away from me and i was screaming lolx. funny much? very. haha. laugh trip. then me and zha stalked this guy lolx but we lost him. too bad. oh and we saw jamang with his new "gf". like, ohemgee! scandalous much? very. lolx. but there was this lapse of moment -lolx- where i suddenly fell into the pit of depression coz i suddenly remembered josh and how much i miss him. so i kinda got teary eyed. shallow tears. haay. 2nd time that i got depressed for the day. and then jiggy and zha and rich went home while i went with jase and kim to baywalk.

while in jason's car, i learned that seanny and xtin were coming with us. so yay. hehe. and kim got really lucky. nakapulot xa ng digicam! haha. lucky much? very. then we went to the school and "kidnapped" sean. lolx. and we saw some teachers dancing and stuff for this cheering thingy that i don't really know so yah. and sean told me that nakita daw nia si josh sa school so sayang kasi di ko xa nakita. oh well. then we went to xtin's house and "kidnapped" her too and off to echelon tower to pick up mokay! tapos ayon, baywalk na kami. we were roaming baywalk for something to eat when i suggested going to shakey's kaya ayun. hehe. then we went back to baywalk tapos ikot ikot. and then, there was this moment where we were all sitting in the marble tiling -or whatever- tapos nakatulala lang ako sa dagat. emote. lolx. ang ganda kasi ng setting eh. dark sky, full moon, the calm sea, senti song in the background. gosh. haha. tapos tinext ko si josh -which i doubt that he received- ng sobrang drama haha. 3rd time na yan! the text is kinda personal so i'm not gonna share it. magpapa-henna sana si kim kaso lang nawalan xa ng gana. haha. and then me and kim had this interesting adventure:

kim: "sa tingin mo may nage-FK dito?"
me: "haha kanina ko pa nga iniisip un eh. dami kasing PDA nuh?"
kim: "oo nga eh. haha. hanap tayo!"
me: "cge ba! haha!"
-so we searched for a couple who was frenching when suddenly...-
kim: "kimi! may nakita na kong nage-FK!"
me: "talaga? saan?!"
-she pointed to a couple then said in a loud voice-
kim: "ayun o!"

when i looked i couldn't help but laugh. i was laughing so much that people were looking at me. haha. it was so weird seeing them french. coz the girl was like enjoying it but the guy looked bored haha. pikchuran sana namen kaso lang nakakahiya haha. then we looked for some more pero wala na. lolx. then we walked to jason's home -which was really far- and then pahinga muna sa bahay nia. and then we went home! hehe. yeah. when i got home, internet agad! i logged onto YM and i saw that mac was OL so i pm-ed her and asked her if josh was sleeping already but she said she didn't know and that he might be with their cousins downstairs so i was like ok thanks anyway. i wanted to talk to him but i didn't wanna bother them so yeah. after that, i just slept nalang. i slept peacefully which was a good thing since lately i've been having alot of nightmares. maybe it was because i had spongey with me while i was sleeping? hmm. iono. maybe. btw, i got home at 10-ish. i slept at like 12-ish. lolx.

dec.17,2005 [today.]
when i woke up i had a txt msg from zha telling me that they were already there -the place where they'll be having their bivouac. i forgot the name of the place- and she said that she'll be keeping an eye on josh for me so i was like thanks much. hmm, well nothing much has happened yet. since it's still kinda early. loooolx. i duno. i'm too tired to do anything strenuous. btw, i got to talk to josh awhile ago. i called zha using my cellphone and she gave it to josh so yah. ampucha, naubos ung 300pesos kong load dahil sa call na un. wala ngang 10mins. un eh. i think. haha. basta. ang daya. but i noticed that he was having fun so that's good. i hope he'll take care of himself though. haaay. my mum is so mean. she kinda pissed me off with our little talk:

mum: "sino nagbigay sayo ng cd?" -referring to the paramita cd-
me: "si josh."
mum: "yun lang? cd lang?"
me: "at least gusto ko ung cd na binigay nia."

argh. like, what is her fucking problem?! ano ba gusto niang mapatunayan ni josh?! ampucha. nakaka-asar na. grawr. she doesn't even know josh and she's already assuming that he's not good enough for me. pfft. dibah nia nakikitang masaya ako sa kanya? dibah un naman ung importante? ung masaya ako sa piling nia? sus. haaay naku. kung ayaw nia kay josh, wala akong pake!

btw, ayos na sun ko! haha! pwede nio na kong itext sa sun! haha! yay! todo gm to the max na toh! haha! yeaaah. trying to cover up the sadness with fake happiness. how dramatic. pishaw. pfft.

eventful much?

2005-12-15T19:45:00.000+08:00

these past 2 days have been really fun and tiring. so lemme share what happened.

aug.14,2005 [yesterday.]
after school, me, zha, xtin, aica, jason and ker planned to go to robinson's to buy gifts. so first, we went to jason's house so that jason, xtin, and aica could change their clothes. so unfair coz zha was wearing the l.t. uniform so it was ok for her but i was wearing the regular uniform so obvious na student ako haha. before that, when we were in the elevator going up jason's house, i think it was ker who turned off the lights in the elevator so it was really dark tapos they stopped at the 5th floor. in the 5th floor, they said there was a white lady there and it was really dark there so the girls were screaming and it was really scary. tapos nung aalis na kami, ginawa ulet nila un. ampf. when i opened my eyes, i thought i saw a white thing pero i didn't mind it. so aion, we went to rob then we went shopping. we went different ways so i was with zha and ker. we saw mila, johann, mika lee, and 2 ob -casa or primary- teachers there. hehe. they ended up buying alot of gifts. i didn't buy anything since i didn't have enough money at all. then we ate at tokyo tokyo for dinner. i got home around 10pm. but it was fun.

aug.15,2005 [today.]
so today we had our field trip. we went to the national museum and to the san agustin church. today was really really fun since i was with zha the whole time and we were just hyper. during the bus ride, me and zha were reading philippine ghost stories and we were scaring each other which was so stupid haha. when we were in the national museum, there was also another school who was visiting. since i was hyper much, i started to wave at them and said "hi!". stupid much. lolx. the national museum was fun. it was kewl but it was kinda boring. hehe. then we went to intramuros for the san agustin church. and coincidentally, there was another school -saint benilde- visiting intramuros! lolx. so anyways, when we were gonna enter intramuros, there was a moat there. i didn't notice that the guys behind me were from the other school so i started jumping in the moat and then i instantly stopped when i heard them say "hala hala!". lolx. embarassing much? very. then when we were inside the church, me and zha got separated during the lecture or whatever since ms. castro was a killjoy. lolx. -omg, what if she reads this? haha. sowi much!- but we were reunited after the lecture. then we started touring the whole church. i must say, it was really entertaining. it was also beautiful. and then, the last tour spot for the church was the garden on the back which was really really beautiful. we stayed there for like, more than 15mins. probably an hour..? i think. the garden was my favorite. it just had this serene aura. and then i started playing in the garden. lolx. and then, there was this drama moment where i was walking alone and then josh ran up towards me and i went the other way and continued walking away from him when this stupid plant with long branches got stuck on my shirt preventing me from walking further and making me halt abruptly which shocked me so i screamed. unfortunately for me, zha and gallard were watching me so they laughed at me and i ended up laughing at myself. then we had to go home. aww. the bus ride home was funny coz the boys were really noisy in the bus. they were making funny comments so we all couldn't help but laugh. when we got to school, zha went home early to go to glorietta. by that time, i was limping because i did something stupid. me and sean were roaming around the school and we were going up the stairs so i had to hop when i missed this step so i fell but my hand caught the ground so i didn't fall on my chin thank god. sean was also there to help me stop from my fall. we were just laughing at my stupidity. after that i was standing at the railings when josh walked up to me. he was like holding onto my ankles so i was like scared coz i might fall so i sat down on the railings. unfortunately again for me he was still holding onto me so his hands moved to my legs and he carried me bridal style. he knows i'm scared of being carried that way coz i'm scared of heights even though it's not that high. basta i'm just scared of that. so i was holding onto the railings begging him to drop me because i was getting teary eyed and i was already panicking. so he did and then i started crying and the hippies were like crowding and everything and i just continued crying. lolx. crybaby much? haha. oh well.

so yeah, that was long. haha. very eventful day. hehe. sorry for the long post. i just wanted to reminisce and share it with you guys. so yeah. tomorrow is christmas party! yay! hehe. time to give gifts and receive them. lolx. oh well. hmm, i think tomorrow will also be a fun day.

nasa huli ang pagsisisi.

2005-12-13T20:36:00.000+08:00

i want a new layout for my blogness. i'm so bored with this layout already. haha. i'm a layout whore. lolx. hmm, yeah i'm changing my layout when i get my DSL back. and then i have to restore my old files since my old files were somehow deleted when i was getting my pc fixed. lucky me. pfft.

anyways, i'm almost done with the xmas shopping. wowness. haha. it's amazing actually, since i didn't really think i'd finish it. i still don't know what to give josh. *tear* i want to give him the perfect gift but i don't know what and where that perfect gift is. sigh. tapos dumagdag pa ung mga bibilhan ko ng gifts. like, omg. i'm seriously gonna be bankrupt by the end of the year. pishaw. tapos may gimik pa kami after the party, punta kami ng glorietta and it's like so friggin expensive there and wala na talaga akong pera. haha. but i am so happy that it's almost xmas break. i badly need a break. haay. i need to catch up on my sleep. and i'm gonna do that on the break. haha. eat, internet, tv, music, sleep. wow. what a break. it's gonna be very productive haha. oh well.

earlier, during english, zha and mila were being trained by mr.alegrid because of the declamation thingy. i was watching mila do the actions when i started copying her and me and zha had this little talk:

zha: "you could have gotten this kimi."
me: "what?! yeah right."
zha: "no seriously."
me: "what makes you think that?"
zha: "because you're really good."
-flattered much. then..-
me: "yeah... but not good enough for the school's standards."
-zha then rolled her eyes. enter haru who was listening on our conversation.-
haru: "yeah kimi, you could have gotten this."
me: "yeah i know.. if only i did well.."
haru: "yeah, if only you did well.."
me: "and if i memorized my poem.."
haru: "yeah and that too.."
-end of conversation-

i'm pretty sure i could have been a participant for the declamation if only i did good. if only i did my best. if only i memorized my poem. if only i didn't ask for an extension. if only i prepared myself. if only i took it seriously. so yeah, i'm regretting it badly. since i kinda wanted to be on the declamation. oh well. there's always next year. hopefully, i won't throw that year away.

what a waste.

2005-12-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

i'm really pissed off right now. i was typing this really really really long entry and post it but i did something really stupid so it....well, vanished. disappeared. extirpated. extinguished. gone. and it sucks big time. like so effing much. sayang talaga un. that post was like out of my emotions. you know, i really let myself out. tapos bigla nalang mawawala. ampf. stupid me. i hate myself. grawr. stupid much. how stupid can i get? hmph. i'm pissed off at myself right now. haaaay.

i'm going to drown my sorrow by eating ice cream. haha. i'm going to pig out. coz i'm sad -more like depressed- now. time to put out the sad face.

=(

update. finally.

2005-11-27T13:54:00.000+08:00

shiet! 5 weeks akong di nakapag-online! wtf?! pano kasi, nasira ung tangang pc namen. ampf. so yah, hanggang ngaun di pa nga ayos ung pc eh. AMPOTAH. i'm just pissed. wala kasing magawa sa bahay kapag boring. and you all know naman na i'm like so addicted to the pc and everything. god. i feel so conyo. haha. anyways, updates on my life:

-exams are over. i still don't know my final grades for the 2nd quarter.
-my mum knows about me having a boyfriend now. woop de doo.
-intrams are on december 1&2. food expo on december 8.
-i still have a never ending pile of homeworks and projects and shit. so yah.

well, that's all for now. i just want to say how sorry i am that i haven't been online at all. blame the pc. blame the stupidity of machines. lolx. yes, i will try and get my pc fixed so yah. to my online friends, i miss talking to all of you. especially you rachel and luc. to my real life friends, i always see you at school so yah. haha. but i miss you guys. no school tomorrow. yay. hehe. ok, byeness.

tulog na, mahal ko.

2005-10-23T15:07:00.000+08:00

that sugarfree song is freaking stuck in my head. ung "tulog na". amf. di ako makapag concentrate sa pag aaral eh. haha. kaasar. it's like replaying in my head over and over and over again. and the worst thing is, whenever i hear that song, napapaiyak ako. which sucks. alot.

exams week na bukas. meaning, cramming time. i really have to study hard this quarter coz i've been failing everything. i even failed our english and journalism long test! like, grawr. seriously, i don't know what's happening to me. last night, i had a breakdown which i haven't had one in a long time. god, being a junior sucks. too much homeworks, projects, more responsibilities, more expectations from your parents and teachers, more problems to worry about.

~~you'll never know what it's like to be me. to spend half of your day being someone you're not.. and then going home to be something you never intended to be..~~

bloody week.

2005-10-21T21:12:00.000+08:00

BASTA HELL ITONG WEEK NA ITOH. TAENA. AYOKOH NANG ALALAHANIN PA ANG WEEK NA ITOH. TAENA TALAGA. GRAWRRRRRRRRR.

*Ahem* Yes, sorry about that. Badtrip lang talaga aku. Walang maganda ang nadulot ng week na itoh. Puro bagsak na long tests, quizzes, at drill sheets. Ampf. Ayokoh na. Too much pressure na. Waaaaaaaa. ~~I'm so sick and tired of crying.~~

Lalo lang aku na-badtrip sa napag-usapan namen ni Josh. Grawr talaga. AYOKOH NA. SAWANG SAWA NA KU.

~~BAKIT BA ANG HIRAP MAG-MAHAL?!~~

meow.

2005-10-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

today i was able to wear my cat uniform to see if it fits me. and well, it fits me like a thumb, and it looks good on me. bagay saken. and i like it. haha. but i think i'm gonna be exempted from cat for medical reasons. i hope i do. coz i don't wanna have cat. i hate l.t. so i may hate cat even more. haha. tapos pag nagalit ang officers namen, walang awa magbigay ng punishment haha. i remember during monday, czarina made us all squat coz we were all moving so much. haha. damn that was so fucked up. grawr.

i almost fell asleep during our english long test haha. i was so sleepy and it was so quiet in the room, so it was kinda hard not to fall asleep. and then, during values ed, czarina was sleeping and mrs. delos reyes didn't even notice her. haha. so unfair. she just slept the whole subject away. while i was forced to listen to the topic. grawr. i was so sleepy the whole day. even now that i'm typing this. i'm just forcing my eyes not to close. since i have to finish this entry and i'm chatting with kuya rye.

during lunch, czarina saw this kitten and she said it was "her cat". so i was like, riiight. haha. it was really cute and small. then, during chemistry, pinasok niya yung kitten sa classroom and when i sat beside zha my body started to get itchy. i guess i was allergic to that kitten. bleh. i hate cats. i hate dogs. i hate animals. grawr.

yesterday, me and joshy had a huge.. well, i'm not sure if it was a fight since there were really no words exchanged between the two of us. iono. it all started because of me. nanaman. haha. aku naman lagi eh. ampf. yeah, i didn't talk to him for the whole day. as in wala. sobrang deadma to the max. haha. shit, i'm so tusok. HAHA. yeah, pero ok na kami. kasi na-guilty aku sa ginawa ku. wala naman kasi aku talagang matibay na rason para gawin yun sa kanya eh. tanga ku kasi. haha. so yeah. see how fucked up i am. pfft.

~~i hate myself. i hate the way i fuck things up. i hate the way i am.~~

drills are pain in the ass.

2005-10-10T20:36:00.000+08:00

i finally got the teddy bear that kuya rye sent me from cambodia. it's a really cute teddy bear. it's so soft and it's kinda big. hehe. i lurve it. sooo cute. i got it at school. coz zha gave it to me. coz kuya rye sent it to nyok and nyok gave it to zha so yeah. haha. a lot of people at school thought that josh gave it to me. lolx. well of course they would think that. haha. doi. duh kiMi haha. err, yeah. but it wasn't. cheap kasi ni josh. HAHA! i'm just kidding. i don't really mind though. i don't want him spending money just for me. it feels.. weird. haha. i guess i'm just not used to it or something. but of course i wouldn't mind getting something from josh but nah, it's ok.

i didn't have an excuse letter today so i wasn't exempted from l.t. drills which totally sucks coz i wasn't feeling really well so i had to endure the drills. thank God, di kami nag-rifles kasi di aku marunong nun coz when they had the rifles i was exempted at that time so ayun. blessing haha. erm, we did facings, open and close ranks, and marching. nung malapit nang matapos ung marching, jiggy approached me and said i didn't look too good. he said i could barely march and that i was so red. truth be told, it was so hot at that time, the sun was blasting its harmful rays at me and i could barely breathe. i was gasping for air and i was about to barf. grawr. jiggy gave me 5 seconds to shape up or he'll have to let me fall out. i tried to shape up coz i didn't want to fall out yet coz the drills were almost done but to no avail. so after 5 seconds, jiggy commanded me to fall out. of course i couldn't say no so fine. haha. sangmee told me that i looked really red. haha. dammit. i swear i hate l.t. and i hate the teacher. i don't even know why some 4th year girls like him. like, EWWWW. haha. seriously, he's got an egg for a head dammit. i don't mean to be rude or something, but seriously, bulag ata sila. HAHA. no offense to anyone who might get offended by this. i'm only stating my opinion. and if you don't like it, then get the fuck out of here asshole. HAHAHAHA.

tayo'y mag-ocho ocho.

2005-10-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

ang saya ku talaga ngayun. wahaha. nothing can bring me down today. i'm just too happy to be pissed off. too happy to let anything ruin my day. yay. hehe.

erm, so i guess you might be wondering why i'm so happy today. well, too bad but i'm not gonna say. haha. let me give some clues. it involves me, my friends, josh, and the mall. haha. i think that's too much clues but whatever. basta, ang saya saya ku. haha.

yeah, my post is really stupid but i just wanted to share my happiness. oh and another reason why i'm so happy today is because 3 months na kami ni joshy. wohoo. haha.

Drama lang yan.

2005-10-07T20:27:00.000+08:00

What a day. Yesterday, me and Zha had a HUGE fight. Emphasis on the huge part. Hehe. Yeah, it was really fucked up. But we're ok now. We're friends again. Yayness. Hehe. And if you're wondering, no, I did not approach her and compromise with her. She did that. Not me. Which was a first. Hehe. So yeah, meaning tomorrow is still on. Yes! Haha.

The whole week was smooth sailing (except for the fight but never mind). I like this week. Last night I wasn't able to update coz my cousin was using the pc excessively so I got pissed off even more because I was already mad at the fact that me and Zha were having a fight so I just slept waaay too early. But it was cool coz I got some much needed rest.

Survey mania in the classroom! Haha. During Logic and LOP time we were all answering surveys. Sheesh. We're all addicted. As in everyone was answering. Haha. Bondingness. Like during Geometry time, Mr. Garcia gave us a problem to solve within 10 minutes or else we'll have a seatwork and so Mila and Alva worked on the problem then Mila explained and everyone was listening. It was just.. Weird. Like what Alva said, "Kodak moment!" Lolx. Again, the bondingness. Hehe.

Which reminds me, I got the pictures of me and Zha and we look so hot. Haha. Whateverrr kiMi. Pishaw. We look good. We look.. Nice..? Haha. =p

>>Happy monthsary to Zha and Jamang!<<

insomnia.

2005-10-05T22:16:00.000+08:00

it's amazing how just a note can make me and zha friends again. haha. so yeah, it was all just a tiny misunderstanding. and once again, i'm the one who said sorry. even though i did nothing, i still said sorry. even though none of it was my fault, i still said sorry. grawr. i hate myself sometimes. i'm always the one who says sorry. ~~i'm so sick and tired of it.~~ este, i don't mind saying sorry all the time. grawr. haha.

anyways, today was a really nice day. i had alot of fun today. nothing bad happened today which was really good. i swear it was all smooth sailing. starting from morning till now. hehe. i am currently drinking milo.>>very random. lolx. anyways, yeah back to the topic. uhm, one huge reason why my day was awesome today is because of josh. he was so hyper from morning till dismissal. grawr. haha.

so yeah, it's almost 11pm and i ~~promised~~ told josh that i would try to sleep early. sheesh, i'm not even sleepy yet. damn insomnia.

insecurities.

2005-10-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

why should i be insecured? is there a reason for me to be insecure? if yes, then what is it? seriously i don't know why i feel insecure. is it me or is it just me? it's just me. haha. dammit. i hate feeling this way. gawr.

and what's with my friends when they blurt out kenneth's name? they'd be like "oops i'm sorry kim." i mean what is up with that? dude, i'm over that guy. i don't give a damn anymore. so why the hell do they have to act like i'm still mourning over him? sheesh. like hello, if they haven't noticed yet, i'm already happy with josh. my goodness. haha. it's just annoying. so hint hint to my friends, stop doing that. it just pisses me off. grawr.

we had our class picture taking today and it was... depressing. coz after the class picture some groups had their pictures taken and well, me and zha were crestfallen when dwc didn't even have a group picture. oh well. wala na talagang dwc. haha. i just knew it. haii. but yeah, i didn't really pay attention to it. deadma nalang. haha. and then dismissal time, zha got pissed coz no one was paying attention to her when she was talking. i, for one, wasn't there when she was talking. i was off somewhere and then she doesn't talk to me? like, grawr. it just makes me want to bite her head off. haha.

~~i'm sorry that i ever tried.~~

i'm doomed.

2005-10-03T20:45:00.000+08:00

am i doomed to forever be the leader in chemistry? well, at least until the school year ends. shit, i think so. damn, it's really hard being the leader for a subject like chemistry. fuckfuckfuckfuck. i can't do this. it's so tiring. and chemistry is so boring i can barely stay awake during experiments or lectures. waaaaa. the boringness.

err, tomorrow we're going to have our class pictures. how dandy. not. i have to wear the stupid regular uniform. ugh. i hate that uniform. actually, i hate all of the uniforms. haha. why can't we just wear civilian clothes? it's better that way. oh well. i don't really care since i won't be able to do anything about it. except for whine haha.

i have a corset. and i'm gonna wear it on saturday. yayness. hehe. i heart corsets. they rawk. and female vampires wear corsets. haha. the connection? well, i've always been fascinated by vampires and well, yes, i wanna be one. haha. the immortality. the power to choose who will live and who will die. everything about vampires fascinate me. weird much? yeah. haha. well, that's me. kiMi the vampire. lolx. sounds nice. haha.

yay.

2005-10-02T14:19:00.000+08:00

yay. i heart blogspot. it's so much easier than blogdrive. ok, so i'm gonna make this my official blog. yayness. hehe. i'll update later. or soon. basta, i'll update when i feel like it. haha.